


Midnight Sun

by The17thStan



Category: Tanner Braungardt
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, bisexual!Tanner, exhibitionist!Tanner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-06-15 21:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15422076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The17thStan/pseuds/The17thStan
Summary: Every time Tanner thought he had his feelings for Dylan worked out, something happened to make him realize he was wrong — he liked Dylan more than he thought. At this rate, maybe someday he'll catch up to Dylan, who's been completely in love with Tanner from the start.





	1. Chapter 1

[April 10, 2018; Huntington Beach, California]

Dylan was asleep when he heard it. The sound of someone’s notification woke him, so he grabbed his phone to see what it was. It was 7:27 a.m.

 

**Tanner Braungardt Tweeted:**  
How is it possible to wake up anxious

 

Dylan jumped out of bed and ran toward Tanner’s room. It might be nothing, considering Tanner apparently felt well enough to tell Twitter about it, but Dylan didn’t take Tanner’s anxiety lightly. He opened the door, and Tanner looked up and nodded at Dylan with a scared look on his face. Dylan shut the door and quickly slid into Tanner’s bed, wrapping his arms around Tanner and holding him tight.

“It’s OK,” Dylan said in a calm, soothing voice. “I’ve got you. Everything is going to be all right.”

Tanner’s breathing was still uneven, so Dylan just continued to hold him for several minutes, occasionally repeating what he had said.

He wished he’d been there sooner. Nothing like this happened in the last couple months in Kansas after Dylan had moved in and started sleeping with Tanner – now that they were officially a couple – and maybe if Dylan had been there when Tanner woke up today, this anxiety attack wouldn’t have happened. But it had only been a week since they moved into the new house in California, and Tanner wanted Dylan’s side of Logan’s room to look a little more lived-in in the videos before Dylan moved into Tanner’s room. It hadn’t been that long for Tanner to be so used to waking up with Dylan that him not being there would be a reason for Tanner to panic, but still Dylan felt responsible.

“I’m here now, Tanner,” he said, trying to radiate calm into Tanner’s nerves.

Dylan had been in love with Tanner for as long as he could remember, literally his entire life. It had taken so long for them to get to there, but now that Dylan had Tanner as a boyfriend, he wouldn’t ever let him go. He gave Tanner a squeeze and started gently caressing him.

 

* * *

 

[one month earlier]

“What do you mean you’re not sure you’re gay?” Shark asked Dylan as they traveled between stops on their Northeast tour.

“I’ve only been attracted to one guy,” Dylan explained. “Describing someone as gay suggests it’s part of a pattern of being attracted to guys generally. Tanner and I have a gay relationship. We have gay sex. I have gay feelings for him. But he’s still just one example, and there aren’t any others, so there’s no pattern.”

“But you haven’t been attracted to any girls either,” Shark said.

“No, just Tanner.”

“Ever?”

“It’s always been Tanner. My whole life. It wasn’t always the same, and it took me a while to understand that’s how I felt, but I was always in love with him. I don’t have any memories before that.”

“So it was like love at first sight, on the first day of kindergarten? Or whenever it was that you met?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“That sounds pretty gay to me. And you’ve never even looked at anyone else?”

“I knew what I wanted.”

“Wow. She’s different all right.”

“I think you’re lucky,” said Z. “Finding your soul mate so early.”

“Thanks, I am,” Dylan agreed.

“What about a guy who looked like Tanner?” Shark suggested. “A cute little blond twink with tight abs, perfect cheekbones and a killer smile. Would you be attracted to him?”

Dylan shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sure we could find plenty of examples online. Have you never looked at porn?”

“I have over a thousand naked pictures of Tanner on here,” Dylan said, holding up his phone, “and he’s filmed pretty much everything we’ve done at some point. Why would I go looking for imitation Tanner porn when I already have the real thing?”

“Well, is there anything you and Tanner haven’t done that you want to? That would be a reason.”

“Hmm. I suppose there is.”

 

* * *

 

Tanner woke up a second time after falling back to sleep in Dylan’s arms. Everything was so much better. The California sun was shining – it might have been before, but this time Tanner noticed – and morning wood was steering his thoughts in a happier direction. He felt Dylan’s hand stroke across his shoulder and realized, though they’d shifted positions, Dylan was still in comfort mode. Time to let him know the coast was clear. Tanner reached down for Dylan’s dick and started bringing it to life.

“Oh hey,” Dylan said. “Feeling better?”

Without letting go, Tanner turned around and planted a kiss on Dylan’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Tanner.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Me neither. And you’ll never have to find out.”

“I’m going to need your underwear to come off.”

Dylan obliged. After another quick peck, Tanner turned his attention downward to the warm flesh in his hand. _My boyfriend has a nice dick,_ Tanner thought. _How have I not noticed that before? But then back when this started, I never thought I’d hear myself say that._

 

* * *

 

[August 2013; Augusta, Kansas]

While playing in the pool in Tanner’s backyard, Tanner and Dylan’s lips brushed. For each it was their first kiss. Wondering if it may have been accidentally-on-purpose, Tanner kissed Dylan again, and Dylan kissed back. 

 _I knew it!_ Tanner thought. It was worth having his second and third kiss also be with Dylan to confirm the crush he suspected. There was no one else in the backyard, but Tanner wanted more privacy for what he was starting to plan. “Let’s go inside.”

Without much time to dry off, Tanner led Dylan down to his room. They kissed for a little longer this time. After breaking the kiss, Tanner stepped back. He looked up and saw Dylan beaming. Tanner smiled back. 

“That was nice, wasn’t it?” 

Dylan nodded. 

“My first kiss. Yours too?” 

Dylan nodded. 

“Are you glad it was me?” 

Dylan hesitated, then nodded again. Tanner smiled at the silence, understanding it would be hard for Dylan to talk about this. Tanner judged he was ready to go further. 

“Do you want to see it?” he asked, casting his eyes downward. Dylan cocked his head, and that was enough encouragement for Tanner, who dropped his swimsuit. Dylan stared in amazement at the beautiful boy in front of him. 

“If you wanna touch it, go ahead. It’s OK. Come closer.” 

Dylan reached out and touched Tanner’s penis and held it as it started to grow in Dylan’s hand. 

“Looks like he likes you,” Tanner smiled. 

Tanner’s equipment wasn’t nearly as big back then as it is now, but in Dylan’s estimation he was pretty hung for someone who had just turned 13.

With Tanner’s encouragement, Dylan began to stroke, slowly at first, then picking up the pace and continuing for a few minutes until Tanner came. Dylan smiled. 

“That was really good, Dylan.” Tanner smiled back and, wanting to end it on a high note for Dylan, stood on his tiptoes to kiss Dylan one last time for the day.

“OK, Dylan, so I have some good news and bad news for you. The bad news is I’m not gay, so I’m not going to be your boyfriend or anything. The good news, I don’t know if you are, but I’m your best friend and I’m going to help you figure it out. And I’m pretty open to experimenting.”

Tanner got dressed, Dylan changed, and without another word they went back to working on the puzzle they had started before getting in the pool.

 

* * *

 

That set the tone for the relationship in a lot of ways, Tanner realized. He got off, Dylan didn’t, but he felt like he was doing Dylan a favor – and they were both happy. But even in the last few months since he’d started making an effort to reciprocate, he hadn’t noticed how much there was to appreciate about Dylan’s body. This moment felt like a new beginning for Tanner. Slowly rubbing at Dylan’s dick, Tanner was so focused he was practically mesmerized. 

Abruptly he stopped. “Can you hang tight for a minute? I need to set some cameras up.”

“Sure,” Dylan drawled. He trusted Tanner even though he sometimes pushed the boundaries of Dylan’s comfort zone. And as he’d told Shark and Z, Tanner’s penchant for filming things they did together had supplied him with an impressive library of jerk-off material. _At least we don’t have an audience for this_ , Dylan thought.

 

* * *

 

[one month earlier, later the same night; Philadelphia]

“Are you ready to start checking out pictures of hot guys? There’s no way Tanner can be the only one you’re attracted to.”

“Hold on, Tanner just texted. He wants to know if I’m going to be ready to FaceTime soon. He’s probably going to be naked, so I should find somewhere private to take it.”

“Not like we haven’t seen that before. You two put on quite a show for us here on the RV last month.”

Dylan blushed. “Tanner has a way of talking me into things I wouldn’t normally do. I can’t really say no to him.”

“I’m sure he’s never taken advantage of that,” Shark joked. “I still can’t believe he made you blow him in front of four other guys. But he wasn’t exaggerating about how great you were, from the appearance of it. That was as hot as any porn I’ve seen.”

Dylan was really blushing now.

“Sorry to embarrass you. Do I have to walk to Kansas now?”

“I won’t tell him.”

“Thanks. You know he’s just proud of you, right? And obviously really proud of that monster in his pants. Most people would have a harder time taking it.”

“I’m just used to it, I guess. We’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“Just you?” 

Dylan nodded. 

“And you’re OK with that?”

“Uh, I mean, I like it. It’s not how I would have pictured it. But I love Tanner and I want him to be comfortable too. I wouldn’t mind if things were different, but I’m not unhappy. Just being with him is what’s important to me.”

“I think he feels the same way. I’m sure he wishes he could be more open about it. That’s probably why he’s a little extra around those of us who know.” 

Dylan smiled. “Thanks.”

“OK well I guess you shouldn’t keep your naked boyfriend waiting.”

 

* * *

 

“OK Dylan, all ready,” Tanner said as he finished getting the cameras in place and got back into bed. “I’m about to give you something I want to make sure you never forget. Normally I like to try something a few times to make sure we’re comfortable with it before getting it on video. I don’t know if I know what I’m doing, but I don’t know how long it’ll be before it happens again, and I don’t want to make you wait that long. Get out your phone so you can record some of it from your point of view, but don’t worry too much about that. For the most part I want you to just enjoy it.”

Tanner shifted his focus back to Dylan’s dick, leaned in and resumed touching it, getting back to where they were when he interrupted things. He looked up at Dylan with a hunger Dylan had never seen before and shot a wicked grin at Dylan’s camera. Then he looked back down, parted his lips and took Dylan’s penis into his mouth for the first time.

The look on Dylan’s face was one they would both be glad to have saved for posterity. The sensation was terrific, but more than that, it was knowing that Tanner wanted him this way that sent Dylan to heaven.

 

* * *

 

[October 2013; Augusta]

Tanner and Dylan were cuddling on Tanner’s bed, as they’d been doing somewhat regularly the past couple months, whenever Tanner was in the mood for it. Dylan was mostly dressed but Tanner just had underwear on.

“You know how I want to help you through this, Dylan? Well I’ve been doing some research on what it’s like to be gay, and I wanted to tell you what I found. There’s a lot of depression. From what I can tell, gay teens are sad because they’re in love with their best friends and want their dicks, but their best friends are straight. And I’m still not seeing what the problem is, because I bet a lot of those guys would be willing to mess around for fun to help out their friends, like I am. But the gay guys are afraid of losing their best friends, so they don’t say anything and try to hide how they feel. Isn’t that awful?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I get depressed just thinking about it. I’m really proud of you for having the courage to kiss me in the pool. Now I can make sure that never happens to you.”

Dylan nestled his head against Tanner’s chest to show appreciation. “You’re the best best friend I could have.”

“I love you, Dylan.” _No need to add “as a friend.” He knows what I mean._

Dylan smiled. “I love you, Tanner.”

They were quiet for a few minutes as they enjoyed the moment. Then Tanner decided it was time for the next phase of his plan.

“You know, you could put your hand down my pants if you want.”

Dylan hesitated, then inched the hand that was resting on Tanner’s abs toward his waistband, and hesitated again before sliding in. Dylan began to regain familiarity with the feeling of Tanner’s dick in his hand. Tanner started to bone up. Dylan smiled and continued his exploration until Tanner became excited.

“Take ’em off!”

Dylan pulled his hand out and lifted his body off of Tanner’s in order to use both hands to pull down Tanner’s underwear. Dylan glanced admiringly. It was nice to see what he’d been touching.

“Go ahead and take a closer look.”

As Dylan bent his head down into the area of Tanner’s crotch, he became intoxicated by the smell. He breathed it in and stared at the source of it.

“Do you want to taste it?”

Dylan leaned closer, stuck out his tongue and took a lick. Then another. He glanced up to check Tanner’s reaction.

“If you want to suck it, now’s your chance.”

Dylan took a breath, opened his mouth and took the plunge. He slowly adjusted to the feeling of Tanner filling his mouth. Then he started to explore with his tongue and inner cheeks. It felt good. He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he was enjoying his exploration. As his doubts crept in, he looked up at Tanner for guidance.

“You’re doing fine, Dylan. Take all the time you need to get used to it. When you’re ready, try moving your mouth up and down like this,” demonstrating the motion. “You can also use your hand.”

Dylan took the instruction and started to bob his head on Tanner’s dick. As he got the hang of it, Tanner gave him encouragement. After several minutes, Dylan realized he was getting hot from the constant motion. He wished he’d taken his shirt off, but he didn’t want to stop long enough to do that. He kept going even though he was burning up.

“It won’t be long now. You’re going to make me cum.”

Dylan realized he was excited about having Tanner cum in his mouth. It gave him the motivation to power through the heat. After another minute, it happened. Dylan got his first taste of Tanner’s cum and was immediately hooked. Dylan didn’t have any other examples to compare it to, but it was much sweeter than most guys’ would be if he did.

Tanner was breathing hard as Dylan continued to suck out every last drop.

“Dylan!” Tanner waited for Dylan’s eyes to meet his. “We are definitely doing that again!”

 

* * *

 

And they did, frequently, over the past four and a half years. Now they were experiencing it from the other side as Tanner sucked Dylan. It was hard to think about much other than how great Tanner’s mouth felt on him, but Dylan remembered all the times Tanner told him he could ask for anything he wanted, and all the times Dylan thought about asking for this. _Why didn’t I?_ Whatever Tanner said, Dylan always felt there were limits implied by the ways Tanner had defined the relationship. Even after Tanner agreed to be Dylan’s boyfriend, not much had changed. But that didn’t matter now. This was happening, and Dylan’s thoughts were soon drowned out by the feelings Tanner was giving him.

When Dylan came, Tanner was surprised at how much he wanted it. He lapped it up eagerly. _If I’d known I was going to like this, I would have done it ages ago._ After swirling it around to savor the taste, Tanner swallowed.

“Dylan, we are definitely doing that again!”

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Dylan, we are definitely doing that again!”

Dylan smiled, remembering Tanner’s previous use of those words, and propped himself up. “I’ll be looking forward to it. That was amazing, Tanner. My turn?” Dylan eyed Tanner’s still-hard cock.

“Actually no, Dylan. I don’t think I’m done appreciating your body yet.” Tanner slid his hand under Dylan and ran a finger down his crack. “I love how smooth it is. I like that you keep it that way, even though I don’t go there very often.”

“Wasn’t hard to figure out. The way you concocted the waxing challenge the first time you did.”

Tanner laughed. “I didn’t exactly plan that. OK, maybe it was in the back of my mind, but it was mainly for the video. The truth is I’d never really taken a good look at your ass before. Then when I did, I just had to. I couldn’t wait to wrap up that video and get inside you.” He brushed his finger back again.

“And you just happened to buy some lube with your waxing strips?”

“That was a gift from Tristan! It was right after my birthday. I think everyone could tell Paris and I were about to break up, and he was certainly hoping I’d pick you.”

“Well I guess I should thank him. The waxing was painful enough.”

Tanner laughed. “At least I waited until the camera was off!” Pausing for another finger stroke, he added, “Mind if I leave ’em on this time?”

Dylan had forgotten the cameras were still on. “Whatever you want.”

 

* * *

 

[March 2014; Augusta]

“Hey Dylan, I’ve been thinking.” It was another sleepover, and they were once again in Tanner’s bed. “Someday you’re going to have a real boyfriend. And I hope having all this experience with me helps you be more confident. I want you to know what you like and how to ask for it.”

Dylan looked at Tanner inquisitively.

“And I know that’s hard for you. It’s normal to be shy about it. So I’ve got an idea for you.”

Dylan didn’t know whether to be excited or nervous. But he liked everything they’d done so far, so he was curious.

“I’m going to let you explore my body. For as long as you want tonight, you can put your hands or your mouth on me anywhere. Don’t think anything is too weird. If you want to try my armpits or my feet or whatever, just go for it. And don’t worry about getting me off either – I figure you already know my dick pretty well – though of course you can if you want to. Just try some new things and see what you like. Whatever you want … Maybe we should try this again in a few years when I have more of a manlier body for you, but I think you’ll still like it now. Sound good?”

“Yeah.” Dylan’s voice concealed his excitement.

Tanner closed his eyes and Dylan started feeling his abs, then leaned in and licked Tanner’s left nipple. He worked on that for a while, then moved around and tried out the other places Tanner suggested and more, enjoying the tastes and smells along the way. When he’d gotten his fill of everything else, Dylan moved onto Tanner’s dick and gave him his usual blowjob. After swallowing, he came up to kiss Tanner’s lips.

“I’m glad you didn’t hold back. I hope it helped. Did you figure out some things about what you’re into?”

_You_. _All of you._ Dylan cracked a nervous smile. “I think so.”

“Good. Well if there’s any of that you want to try again, don’t be afraid to tell me. Remember, I’m doing this for you.”

Dylan knew he’d be too shy to ask for anything, at least for the foreseeable future. “I love you.”

“I love you too Dylan.”

 

* * *

 

_Things didn’t really go according to plan_ , Dylan thought as Tanner loosened up his ass. _Here I am with a real boyfriend, and it’s still hard to talk to him._ Dylan felt more comfortable with Tanner than anyone else, and it seemed like he’d made a lot of progress with his confidence — at least when he was with Tanner and as few other people as possible. But he was still pretty shy. _At least letting Tanner take the lead seems to have worked out well enough_.

“OK I think you’re ready. Do you feel ready?”

“Uh, I guess.” _Not sure anyone is ever ready for something the size of that, but good enough_.

“OK.” Tanner entered. “Let me know if it feels OK.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Tanner started slowly and got into a rhythm.

 

* * *

 

[August 2017; Wichita, Kansas]

Tanner and Dylan were cuddling on Tanner’s bed after having sex for the first time. 

“Hey Tanner.”

“Yes, Dylan?”

“I have something I want to ask you.”

“Ask me.”

“Will you go to prom with me? I know it’s almost nine months away but I’ve known I wanted to go with you since we started high school and I don’t want to wait for a better time.”

“Yes. Sure, Dylan. We can go with some other people and say it’s part of a group, but we’ll know it’s really a date.”

“Really?”

Tanner laughed. “I wasn’t planning to go, but I don’t want you to miss out. I can suffer through one night of Augusta High School for you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.” He gave the shorter boy a squeeze. A minute later he worked up the courage for his next question. “So now that we’re going on a date, have you thought any more about, you know?”

“Dating you? Well it would have been a dick move to have sex with you on our anniversary if I wasn’t.”

A twitch from Dylan let Tanner know he was surprised.

“I remember. It was four years ago today that we had our first kiss. And we’ve had a lot of good times since then. And I know you’ve always wanted it to be more. … I’m not quite there yet. It’s only been a week since I broke up with Paris. But I am thinking about it.”

_That’s progress!_ “OK well, no pressure.”

“I hope I haven’t made things confusing. Are you OK with what happened?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Because I did use your ‘first time’ as clickbait last month, so it was only fair that you got to have it.”

Dylan chuckled. “So the five times we did it that night still don’t count?”

Tanner laughed. “If my mom hadn’t been in the room, there’s a chance. I wanted to.”

“Me too. But I was just happy to be there with you.”

“I know. I should have taken you sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“It’s OK.”

“So are you saying I owe you four more times tonight?”

“If that’s how you want to take it. Are you up for that?”

“Probably not. But I don’t mind finding out how far we get.”

 

* * *

 

When Tanner was getting close, he pulled out so he could finish in Dylan’s mouth. He knew how much Dylan liked eating his cum, and he didn’t want to deprive him. After giving Dylan a chance to swallow, Tanner collapsed onto Dylan and kissed him. They lay together and cuddled, Tanner breathing hard. After a few minutes of rest, Tanner got up to shut the cameras off.

“Well I think we got some good stuff here. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when Mike gets done editing it,” Tanner joked.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Nah, I do still edit these videos myself. He has enough work to do editing out all of our kisses and hand holding from my regular videos.”

“That’s comforting.” 

While Tanner was still a little worn out from sex, Dylan had been feeling energized ever since they finished. Though he wouldn’t let go of Tanner any sooner than he needed to, he was glad Tanner got up and gave him a chance to do the same. He looked for something to put on, knowing he took clothes off in Tanner’s room often enough that he should find something. He spotted a pair of sweatpants and put them on.

“I need to burn off some energy. I’m going to go do some flips.” Dylan headed toward the door.

“I’ll be down in a bit.” Tanner found himself missing Dylan as soon as he left, hearing him race down the stairs and out the door. He grabbed a pair shorts and decided to follow him. He said a quick “morning” to Logan as he passed through the kitchen on his way to the backyard, where he found Mike sitting in the egg chair on the patio. Dylan was already on the trampoline.

Tanner watched Dylan jump and flip, once again mesmerized, just like he’d been earlier. _Why do I feel like I’m noticing him for the first time?_ “God, just look at him.”

Mike looked up at Tanner’s lovestruck face just as Logan joined them.

“That big goofball is all mine,” not taking his eyes off Dylan.

“Yeah, we know,” Mike chuckled. “What has it been, three months now?”

“Three and a half months going on five years,” Logan added.

“Going on 14 years in Dylan’s case,” said Quentin, who had just joined them.

“He’s just beautiful,” Tanner said, still in his reverie. “I’m in love.” Tanner ran out to join Dylan on the trampoline, leaving Mike and Logan exchanging bemused looks.

“Is he just now figuring that out?” Mike wondered.

“Could be,” Logan shrugged. 

“And he thinks Dylan’s the slow one,” Quentin joked.

 

Minutes later, when Tanner and Dylan had had enough of flipping, they returned to the patio.

“Mike and I have a meeting today,” Tanner announced. “It’s going to be a long drive there and back. Anyone want to come along?”

Quentin and Logan looked at Dylan. 

“I do!”

Tanner smiled. “I was hoping you would. We’re going to need to shower and eat before we leave. Would my boyfriend like to join me in the fucking shower?” He held out his hand, grabbed Dylan’s and led him inside.

 

* * *

 

[December 2016; Augusta]

Tanner was already in the shower as Dylan finished the outro. They were all covered with Fruity Pebbles. “OK, that was good. Come on in.”

“Really? I’d be fine with one at a time,” Quentin said.

“I’m sure there’s room for three. There was in the bath.”

It was pointless to argue with Tanner, so Quentin got in and Dylan followed. Quentin rinsed off the bits of cereal as quickly as he could and bolted out.

“You in a hurry?” Tanner asked.

“I have a feeling it’s about to get really gay in here, and I don’t want to be in your way.”

“Wouldn’t stop us, we’d just try to get to you to join.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Still drying off, Quentin left the bathroom and went to go find his clothes.

“He’s no fun. Just you and me now, Dylan, you know what that means?”

“I think so.”

“You’ve got one more package left to open.”

 

* * *

 

Tanner didn’t let go of Dylan’s hand until they reached his room, when he needed his hands free to take his shorts off. He never wore more than he needed to, so if he was alone or with Dylan in his room, Tanner was naked. He reached up to kiss Dylan.

“Have I told you yet today how much I love you?”

“I think you did.”

Tanner kissed him again. “Well, Dylan, I am absolutely crazy about you. I’m so glad you waited long enough for me to figure it out.”

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t think I had a choice. But if I did, every day with you confirms it was right. I love you.”

Tanner pressed his dick into Dylan’s thigh. “Let’s get you out of these clothes. I want some more of what I had this morning.”

“But, um, uh, what about—” Dylan stuttered as Tanner sat him on the edge of the bed and pulled the sweats off.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave time for you to suck me too after our shower.”

Dylan smiled. _God it’s like he can read my mind._ “You know me so well.”

“I do, and I love all of it. But right now I want to focus on this.”

Dylan relaxed as he felt Tanner’s mouth on his dick. _He sure has come a long way in the last few months_.

 

* * *

 

[June 2015; Augusta]

“Uh, you, um, want some help?” Dylan had just finished jerking off before Tanner.

“Nah, I’m good. Almost there.” It was maybe a minute before Tanner came. As he was coming down from his orgasm, he extended his hand toward Dylan, offering to let him lick it clean. Dylan eagerly lapped it up, hoping he’d get to do the same for Tanner’s dick but wanting to savor what he had, sensing that would probably be the limit this time. He made sure to take a deep breath of the scent on Tanner’s hand.

“You still know I’m straight, right?”

_Unfortunately._ “Yeah.”

“I mean, I like doing stuff with you sometimes, just not all the time. Sometimes I’d rather do this like we would if we were both straight.”

“OK…”

“I think I have an idea that might help. You like watching me, right?”

“Of course.” _Not as much as touching, but yeah._

“And I like performing. But I think I’d like it better with a bigger audience.”

Dylan’s eyebrows raised.

“Not that big. One more person. How would you feel if I got Quentin to join us?”

_If I have to_. Dylan shrugged. “You think he would?”

“I think I can talk him into it. And if not, we could try Clay. I just feel like I’d get off more on putting on a show for you if someone else was there, someone who didn’t realize that’s what’s going on.”

“OK …?” Dylan was skeptical but willing to try anything that allowed him to be close to Tanner.

“Great. And trust me, you’ll like it. I’ll make sure you do.”

“OK.” _He has a point there. Tanner’s such a good friend_. _I’m lucky to have him_.

 

* * *

 

Dylan came in Tanner’s mouth for the second time that morning, and the second time ever. It was quick, as promised, and Tanner was already focused on the next order of business.

“Shower — let’s hurry. We want to make sure we have time for breakfast — and your other breakfast.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dylan sat behind Mike on the way to the meeting so that he’d be able to see Tanner in the passenger seat. His mind drifted back to the night on the tour he’d been thinking about earlier.

 

* * *

 

[one month ago; Philadelphia]

Dylan took his phone into the bathroom so he could have some privacy while talking to Tanner. 

“Hello.” A shirtless Tanner filled his screen.

“Hey there, cutie! I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“How was your day?”

“Nice. The tour was pretty cool tonight. I met a fan who said I was the reason he got into your channel. Like, he liked you already but then got more into it the more he saw us together.”

“That’s great! It doesn’t surprise me — you’re my favorite part of my channel too. Sounds like your fan has good taste.”

“I’m pretty sure he ships us.”

“Again with the good taste. So you’re enjoying meeting fans?”

“I am, more than I expected. I feel like I’m doing pretty well, considering …”

“You are. I’m really proud of you for doing this. How are the other guys treating you?”

“They’re good, especially Z. Shark asks a lot of questions, but it’s all right.”

“They just want to get to know you better. I’m glad they’re making the effort to include you.”

“Yeah. I guess that does make it easier being away from you.”

“One more week until you’re back in this bed, and a few days after that we move.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. But right now I can’t wait for you to take your clothes off.” Tanner panned down to show Dylan that he was, as expected, naked. “I think it’s time for less talking and more jerking.”

“As you wish.”

 

* * *

 

[June 2015, a few days later]

“I don’t know,” Quentin said. “That sounds kinda gay.”

“It’s a rite of passage!” Tanner countered. “And one _I_ would like to experience with my two best friends.”

Quentin looked skeptical.

“We’ve all seen each other naked. We already know I have the biggest dick. You guys are closer to average, but neither of you has anything to be embarrassed about.”

“I didn’t realize you were such an expert on penis size.”

“It’s not like any of us are gay.”

_I guess pretending not to know about Dylan’s crush is the appropriate thing_. “Uh-huh.”

“And I bet Dylan wants to experience it too, don’t you?”

Quentin didn’t need to look to know Dylan was agreeing with Tanner. _I’m sure he does, and more. Does Tanner really not know? I think he’s covering_. _But I guess it’s still up to Dylan to tell us_.

“I just think we should all be comfortable enough with each other.”

_He knows I know. And he’s trying to guilt me. But I don’t want him to think I don’t accept Dylan_.

“Come on. Before I turn 15.”

“Well I guess we can’t have you getting to the ripe old age of Dylan and me without having done anything super gay.”

Tanner stifled a laugh. _Way ahead of you there_. “OK then?”

“Fine. A circle jerk it is.”

 

* * *

 

There were times when Quentin thought about confronting Dylan to get things out into the open, but most of the time he ended up deciding he’d rather not know. As long as Dylan hadn’t made up his mind to come out, Quentin could take that to mean maybe Dylan wasn’t sure he was gay. _And maybe he wasn’t_. And Tanner, he could be weird too sometimes, but Quentin was happy to write that off as curiosity. He was fairly sure Tanner wasn’t gay. Maybe nothing would have to change between the three of them. And keeping quiet seemed the best way to keep that possibility alive.

As far as Dylan knew back then, his brother Kyle was the only person other than Tanner who knew how he felt about his best friend. Kyle wasn’t exactly sure what Dylan saw in Tanner, but he was supportive enough for Dylan to be able to talk to him about it. And he was the first to believe they had a chance.

 

* * *

 

[May 2016; Augusta]

“How are things with Tanner?” Kyle asked his brother.

“Confusing.”

“Confusing how?”

“Well, it’s like I can have him but at the same time I can’t. He’s done so much to not make me feel this way, but the problem is still there. I’m in love with someone who isn’t capable of loving me back. Only I’m not supposed to be upset about it because he’s giving me everything I want.”

“Yeah, that sounds confusing. Is he though?”

Dylan paused to think. “Except his heart.”

“So you are missing something. It’s OK to have feelings about that.”

“But I’m not supposed to blame him for something out of his control, and he doesn’t blame me for things out of my control like wanting him. He’s been so great about this, and when I think about that, it just makes me love him more.”

“I know. But it’s still OK to feel how you feel. I don’t think you’re betraying him by wanting more.”

“Yeah, he’d probably say the same thing. Then kiss me tenderly and tell me he’s straight.”

“That certainly qualifies for a relationship status of ‘it’s complicated.’ Are you sure you believe him?”

“Why would he lie about it? To me?”

“Maybe he’s lying to himself.”

“He seems pretty sure of it.”

“Have you asked him how he knows?”

“It has to do with Tristan. Tanner says he could always tell they were different. It was always really obvious to him that Tristan was gay, even when they were really little. And he felt like he was nothing like him, so he knew he wasn’t gay.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very good reason.”

“Plus he does sound legitimately into it when he talks about girls.”

“OK, and he might be. But there’s more than one way to be gay. Are you exactly like Tristan?”

“Well, um, uh, no, but then I don’t know that I am either.”

“But you could be. And so could Tanner. And your way could be different from his way, and both could be different from Tristan’s, and none of that would make any of you any more or any less gay. They’re all equally valid.”

“Maybe. But he could also be telling me the truth.”

“And how exactly does he justify doing physical, sexual things with you?”

“It varies, but basically he says he’s doing it for me. He doesn’t mind it, so he doesn’t feel like there’s a reason not to, and it makes him happy to be able to give me something I want.”

“Maybe that makes sense to you because you think you’d do the same thing for him if the roles were reversed. I don’t know him as well as you do, but I don’t think Tanner is as selfless as you are. Whatever he’s doing with you, I think he’s doing because he likes it.”

“Really?”

“How does it seem to you when you’re together? Doesn’t it seem like he’s into it?”

Dylan blushed. “Sometimes very much so. Not always, but maybe most of the time.”

“See? You just need to learn to trust yourself. I can’t say what Tanner’s sexuality is, but I’m pretty sure he’s not straight.”

“So you think I have a chance?”

“I think he’d have to be more of an idiot than he seems to not love you. It is possible that he could be into guys and still never feel that way about you. But considering that you’re already at least halfway there, I think things are looking up.” 

Dylan’s smile brightened. “I hope you’re right.”

“Me too. But if I am, there’s still one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“You still have to wait for him to figure it out.”

 

* * *

 

And he did, later that summer, but the more immediate change happening in Tanner and Dylan’s lives at the time was fame. Tanner’s YouTube channel was exploding, going from 10,000 subscribers at the end of that month to 100,000 five weeks later and a million 11 weeks after that, in September. It was around then that Tanner came to a realization about himself.

 

* * *

 

[October 2016; Augusta]

“Oh … Dylan … that feels so good … oh … here it comes.”

Tanner fired a fresh load into Dylan’s mouth. As Tanner was panting, Dylan as usual savored the taste of Tanner’s cum and the sounds of his enjoyment. 

“Come here,” Tanner said. A series of kisses turned into making out. Until Tanner broke the kiss. “I have something to tell you.”

Dylan could feel Tanner’s heart pounding.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you — or myself. I didn’t mean to, it was only a few weeks ago I realized, and then I wanted to be sure. But I know I have to tell you now. I’m bisexual.”

Dylan was beaming. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“This – us – I like it. A lot. I’m sorry I caused you to doubt that. I don’t know how I doubted it for so long. I was in really deep denial.”

Dylan put his arms around Tanner and held him tight. “It’s OK. I love you.”

For the first time since he’d been hearing Dylan tell him that, Tanner didn’t know what to say. He still loved Dylan as he always had — as a friend — and didn’t want to confuse him even more. As much as he enjoyed what they did, he knew he still didn’t feel the same. He pulled away from Dylan and sat up in the bed, prompting Dylan to do the same.

“Does this mean … um, before, when you told me you couldn’t be my boyfriend because you were straight, does this mean you can now?”

“I don’t know. I really like how things are with us, and I want to keep it that way, at least for now. I’m still getting used to this. But even then, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that way. We’ve always had a really great friendship, and I definitely don’t want that to change. And the physical aspect, that’s pretty great too, and I don’t want it to change either. But the romance … it just isn’t there for me, not like it is for you. I’m sorry. I know you’d be a terrific boyfriend if I ever get there.”

“But it’s possible?”

“I don’t want to get your hopes up. It was easier before, having an excuse I could hide behind. Maybe that’s why I stayed in denial for so long, because it was so comfortable. Not having to take responsibility for how I feel – don’t feel – about you, for how I might break your heart. I’d understand completely if you didn’t want to keep doing it now that you know. But I owe it to you to own up to this. Yes, in theory it’s possible for me to fall in love with you. But I’m not and I kinda don’t expect I ever will.”

Dylan wasn’t really processing everything Tanner was saying. The good news was just too overpowering for anything else to sink in. _He said yes. It’s possible_. “I love you.”

“I do love you too. That hasn’t changed.”

Dylan leaned in to hug Tanner.

“So are you OK with it — keeping things the same? Friends with benefits?”

“I’m OK with anything that involves us being together.”

“You sure?”

“I still hope it changes. I want more, but I’ve been dealing with not having it for a long time. As long as you’re still OK with me feeling how I feel, then I can still be OK with you feeling how you feel.”

“That’s fair. I’ve always tried to be sensitive to your feelings, I can keep doing that. And you can keep sucking my dick.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And probably more often now that I’m not trying to convince myself I’m straight.”

Dylan smiled. “An even better plan.”

“You’re the best best-friend-with-benefits a guy could have.”

“Back at ya.”

 

* * *

 

A year and a half later, it seemed like Tanner was still figuring things out, as the events of this morning showed. Dylan was proud of how things had turned out, and how he never gave up hope that Tanner would become the boyfriend he always wanted. His faith in love had never wavered, and now he was finally finding out what it was like to be in it. Better than he could have imagined when he was happy taking whatever Tanner would give him. Everything Dylan ever wanted was sitting in the front seat of the car. Sometimes it was overwhelming. So much that Dylan didn’t even notice how long they’d been stuck.

“Hey, let’s get a picture for Snapchat.”

Dylan smiled as Tanner snapped the picture. Tanner typed the caption “Meetings” and added it to his story. He showed it to Dylan.

“You look really happy for someone stuck in traffic.”

“I am happy, Tanner. I always am when I’m with you.”

“Awww, I’m happy too. I saw you were zoned out there. Thinking about us?”

Dylan nodded.

“Me too. We’re the best decision I ever made.”

“It’s kind of amazing to think about how we got here.”

“I know. It’s a long ride — maybe even long enough to relive all the mistakes I made along the way.”

Tanner and Dylan quickly got Mike caught up on the early years of their relationship before launching into the story of the previous year.

 

* * *

 

[January 2017; Augusta]

“Dylan, I need to talk to you about something.”

“OK …?”

“First, I just want to say the other night was really great.”

“It was amazing! Thanks again for making my birthday so special.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. So did I. And I was trying to make your birthday special, but you don’t have to thank me. We didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.”

“Well still, it was nice.”

“Good. I hope those memories are nice enough to last you a few months. After tomorrow it’s probably going to be a while before we can do that kind of thing again.”

“How come?” Dylan’s heart started pounding.

“The thing I gotta tell you, well it’s good news for me but bad news for you. I like Paris. I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes. We’ve been hanging out and I made up my mind last week. But I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t want to ruin your birthday. I’m pretty sure she’s going to say yes.”

“So … we can’t …?” he started to say, voice quivering as held back tears and numbness set in.

“I’m not going to cheat on her. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I want to make this relationship work. I think we always knew this would happen someday.”

Dylan struggled out a swallow.

“Come here,” Tanner said, holding out his arms and bringing Dylan in for a hug. “You’re my best friend and that’s not going to change. You’ll always be important to me and I’ll always love you.”

Tears rolled down Dylan’s cheeks as Tanner continued to hold him.

“I hope you can understand this is something I’ve been wanting for a long time. When I found out you were into me, before I knew I was bi, I wanted you to have those experiences that you were longing for. And having that with you has been way better than I could have imagined, but I’ve still always wanted something else. I know it’s going to be hard for you, but I hope you’re OK with me pursuing that.”

Dylan sighed, feeling guilty he hadn’t been quicker to consider the situation from Tanner’s perspective. “Of course,” he said stoically. “You’ve been so great to me. I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve a guy who can love you with his whole heart. It’s not your fault I’ve never been able to do that.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I’d still rather have half a relationship with you than anything with someone else.”

“I know. I also knew you’d want to savor our last time together. That’s why I decided to wait a few days after your birthday. I didn’t think it would be fair to wait to tell you after it was too late for us. But it’s not yet, if you’re up for it. No rush. I’m all yours for the rest of the night. And right now I just want to cuddle with you for as long as it takes to make you feel better.”

Dylan’s mood started to brighten. _He still wants me_. “I don’t know, I’m pretty broken-hearted. That could take all night.”

“Then we’ll cuddle all night.”

 

[the next morning]

 

“Hey Dylan, what would you do for me to put off my decision one more day and spend the whole day with you?”

“Probably anything.”

“Would you jump in my pool? It’ll make a great video.”

“Hmmm. What exactly am I getting for this?”

“Full control of my body for the rest of the day. Last night was really sad, and I want us to have one more happy day together before things change. Something to go along with your birthday.”

“Well that does sound tempting. The whole day?”

“Anything you want. And one more chance to wake up together if you can stay over again.”

“I have school tomorrow, but that sounds really nice.”

“I wish you could go to online school. I forget sometimes other people have schedules.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“Just one quick jump off the trampoline into the pool and then you can hurry inside for a hot shower.”

“And how are we going to explain why I’m doing it?”

“We’ll say I offered you some candy.”

Dylan looked skeptical.

“And money. I’ll throw in $20.”

“I guess that’s believable.”

“Great. It’s really important to me that we stay close. Partly for the channel — I don’t want the fans to notice something weird between us or wonder why you’re not around — and for myself.”

_How about putting it off longer? Or just not breaking up with me?_ “I’ll try.”

“You’re the best.”

 

* * *

 

Tanner stuck to his word about not cheating, but after several weeks decided he needed to narrow his definition.

 

* * *

 

 

[February 2017; Augusta]

“I’ve been thinking.”

“And?”

“Even though I have a girlfriend, maybe there are some things we could do that don’t cross any lines. I mean, obviously I’m allowed to jerk off, right? And that wouldn’t change just because you were in the room.” 

_Not if you were straight_. “I’m listening.”

“It’s pretty normal for guys our age to do that together.”

_We’re not 14 anymore, but sure_. 

“And it’s not like we ever dated.”

_If you don’t count the three years we were having oral sex as ‘dating_.’ “I guess not.”

“So there’s really no reason my best friend and I couldn’t release some tension from time to time, as long as we kept our hands to ourselves.”

“I’m not going to argue with you.”

“Good, I guess it’s settled then. I need you to do another dare for a video.”

“Oh? What is it this time?”

“You’re going to jump off my roof.”

“While I’m on crutches? I just had surgery.”

“I know, I promise it will be totally safe.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you won’t have to put any weight on your bad leg at all. And I’ll have to help you get up there, so there’s bound to be a lot of touching. I’ll have to hold your hand the whole time we’re on the roof, for safety.”

“Of course, safety first.”

“We’ll have a bean bag on a trampoline for you to land on. Just land on your back. I’m sure you can land a much harder jump than that, even with one leg. I know you can do this.”

“And then we …” Dylan completed his sentence with a hand gesture.

“Yep. Just like old times.”

“I’m in.”

Tanner grinned. “The channel misses you.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I wish someone could have kicked me in the head and told me I was in love with you. And how dumb I was for not seeing it. Looking back, it’s so obvious. I spent years concocting one excuse after another for us to be together and rationalize why it wasn’t what I really wanted.”

“It’s OK, Tanner. You had to figure it out on your own.”

“It shouldn’t have taken me as long as it did.”

“Love is patient.”

Tanner was momentarily in awe. _He’s perfect. Why does that keep surprising me?_ “I think you taught me everything I know about love. I just wish I’d seen it sooner.”

“We’re here now. And we have our whole lives ahead of us. I don’t think you’re supposed to have everything figured out when you’re 17, let alone before that.”

“You did. Way earlier.”

“I’ve known I loved you for a long time, but that didn’t help me with anything else. And I didn’t know what being in love was like until recently.”

“Exactly. We could have had that years ago. We should have had those years together.”

“We did have them. You were everything to me, and growing up with you as my best friend was the best experience I could have asked for. And even if you did fall for me earlier, I think you still would have always wondered whether the grass was greener on the other side.”

“You’re probably right. … So, where were we?”

Tanner pulled up his channel on his phone and scrolled back to the early months of 2017. “The roof jump. I feel like that helped a lot getting us back on track. You can tell Dylan was in a better mood a few weeks later when we got back into the bathtub.” 

He selected ‘BATHTUB FULL OF EVERY SODA CHALLENGE! (FANMAIL OPENING)’ and it started to play. “Mike, you gotta see this.” Traffic was for the most part stopped, crawling along at a pace safe for video watching while driving.

Mike grinned as he saw how Tanner was holding the soda bottles as he poured them into the tub, making it look like a shooting dick.

“Wait for it.”

Mike burst out laughing as he saw Dylan crouching down to drink while Tanner poured, still holding the bottle to his crotch. “You tried to blow him through a soda bottle?! You must have been really thirsty.”

“You don’t understand! It had been two months since he’d given it to me. I was beyond thirsty.”

Mike jokingly scolded Tanner, “What kind of monster were you?”

“One with a girlfriend. Trying my best to keep everyone happy.”

“He was trying, I’ll give him that. That’s not all that happened.”

Mike let out an “aww” later on in the video when Tanner proposed to Dylan, and snickered when Tanner suggested the prize for their game of bottle flip should be “whoever wins gets to kiss the other guy.”

“I didn’t see a kiss,” Mike commented as the outro played. “Did you claim your prize?”

“Oh yes. In the shower.”

“Yeah, he tried to claim more than that.”

 

* * *

 

[March 2017; Wichita]

“It’s going to take forever to get this red dye off our feet.”

“I don’t mind a long shower with you.” Dylan looked at Tanner expectantly.

“You won the game fair and square. Go ahead and kiss me.”

Dylan leaned down and kissed Tanner passionately, pleased to find Tanner returning the kiss with equal intensity, and especially pleased to feel Tanner harden against him.

“I’m glad you won. I’d hate to have to decide whether I was obligated to decline if I won.”

Dylan smiled and crouched down, pulling Tanner’s shorts off.

“We can’t. I don’t want to ruin this for you — you can tell I want to, but we can’t.”

It looked like Dylan was ignoring him as he saw Dylan’s mouth inching closer to his dick. Tanner was surprised as he felt Dylan letting out a breath. And another. Dylan inhaled deeply, savoring Tanner’s scent, and exhaled through his mouth hard enough for Tanner to feel it.

“I’m sure I deserve this kind of torture. Be careful. Remember, he has a mind of his own and might try to jump in. I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret.”

Dylan continued breathing on Tanner, who was thinking about how conflicted he was. _How is it possible we’re not even touching and this is the hottest — maybe I should break up with her and get back together with him? But I like her too. And I don’t want to hurt her. And I don’t want to break up. But I didn’t think it would be this hard to stay away from him. Fuck, I’m not going to resolve this now, might as well enjoy the moment It always feels so good with him_.

“This has been nice, but I really need to jerk off now.”

Dylan started to get up but Tanner stopped him.

“Stay down if you want. You’ll have a better view at eye level. And if some of it happens to land in your mouth, well I suppose that would be out of my control.”

The look on Dylan’s face was Tanner’s reward for bending the rules. He closed his eyes as he continued jerking.

 

* * *

 

“That’s really the least you could have done,” Mike joked. “That video did get 7 million views.”

“I thought so,” Dylan added with a satisfied grin.

Tanner laughed. “I suppose it was appropriate to compensate Dylan for his labor. I wish I’d thought of that excuse.”

“I do accept nut as currency.”

“Like I said, I was trying my best to keep everyone happy. And I did talk to her.”

 

* * *

 

[March 2017, a few days later]

“Paris, I need to be honest with you about something.”

“OK?”

“So, you know I’m bisexual.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, before we were together, for a long time I had a close guy friend. We weren’t ever boyfriends, but we did a lot of stuff together. He misses me, and I knew us being together was going to be really hard on him. I don’t let him touch me, but sometimes we still jerk off together.”

“It’s just Dylan, right?”

_What do you mean, ‘just Dylan’?_ “Yeah.”

“I’m not worried.”

“OK then. Glad we had this talk.”

“Seriously. Everyone knows he’s into you, and I know you care about him, but you don’t feel the same. It’s not like you would choose him over me, so just do whatever you think you have to do.”

“Wow, that’s awesome. Thanks for being so understanding.” Tanner’s mind was racing. _Did she just give us a green light? Omigod, jumping for joy. Wait, don’t look too excited. I’m not supposed to be excited. It’s just Dylan. Did she really say that? Girl better watch it, only I’m allowed to put him down like that. Part of me wants to break up so I can tell her I’m choosing Dylan. No wait, I should be thanking her. This was what I wanted all along_.

“I trust you, use your judgment. You’re not going to go too far with him.”

“I can handle that.” _What the hell does that mean?_

“I am curious, though. What’s it like, being with a guy versus being with a girl?”

“Well, both are amazing but in different ways. I can’t really explain it, but I really like it. It’s so nice knowing when I see a hot guy or a hot girl that I can have either one — at least when I’m single. I highly recommend it. Have you ever thought about doing anything with a girl?”

Paris blushed. “I think everyone has thought about it.”

Tanner smiled. “Of course. More people should try it. I’m glad I did.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Is Dylan your only gay experience?”

Tanner shook his head.

“How many guys have you been with?”

“Three.”

“And how many girls?”

“Three.”

“Good to know.”

 

* * *

 

“Hold on,” Mike interrupted. “I need an update. It’s a year later, what are your numbers?”

“Those are still accurate. I got around a little bit when I first became famous, around when I turned 16, but most of the time since then I’ve been in a relationship. Even though I didn’t call it that with Dylan in the months after Paris and I broke up.”

“Are either of the guys anyone I would know?”

“Quentin isn’t one of them, if that’s what you mean.”

“I know.”

“Oh. I’m not at liberty to say.”

“So he is famous!”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

“If you’ve been following the timeline, and check out the videos, you might be able to work it out,” Dylan offered, earning a glare from Tanner. “But I’m also not at liberty to say.”

“So,” Tanner said, changing the subject, “I didn’t want to tell Dylan right away about my conversation with Paris in case she changed her mind. We had a fanmail opening that week but kept it dry to avoid temptation. But the coast was still clear, so I broke the news the following week, in time for ‘TRAMPOLINE VS. PAINT.’”

“Obviously that required a shower,” Mike observed.

“Sure did,” Dylan said. “I had no hesitation jumping into that paint knowing what was waiting for me.”

“At last,” Mike said. “Our long national nightmare is over.”

“There was a lot of flirting while we filmed that.”

“A lot that got cut,” Tanner said. “‘We should wrestle, and whoever wins gets fucked!’”  

“And then after …”

“You didn’t want to stop. I let him keep going after I nutted the first time — and the second. It was at least 45 minutes, maybe an hour before I was completely dry.” 

“In the shower?” Mike asked.

“No, we didn’t waste _that_ much water.”

“I just had knee surgery!”

“We kinda got started there but moved to my bed for most of it. I think we both knew it was going to be a long one. Since it had been so long.”

“Those were the longest 10 weeks of my life,” Dylan said.

“We agreed, if I ever get a girlfriend again, I have a three-month deadline to have ‘the talk’ with her.”

“Anything longer would be inhumane,” Mike joked.

Tanner laughed and Dylan blushed. “Mike understands me.”

“I’m on your side, Dylan. My boss made it pretty clear I should be.”

 

* * *

 

[one month earlier; Culver City, California]

“You seem really qualified, but this position is a lot more than being an editor and cameraman. It’s living with me and my friends, being available all the time, and being part of the group I’m creating. It’s important that you fit in, so I have some personal questions for you.”

“No problem.”

 “I understand you’re in a relationship?”

“I’ve been with my girlfriend about three years.”

“And you’re religious?”

“Yes, I’m a Christian.”

“So, uh, what are your views on LGBT issues?”

“Supportive. I think they should have the same rights as everyone else.”

“What about interacting with them socially?”

“I make an effort to get along with everyone.”

“Good. Some of my housemates are gay or bi, and it’s really important to me that they feel safe in my house and comfortable being themselves around everyone there.”

“I agree that’s important. I’ll go out of my way to make sure they’re comfortable with me.”

“What about nudity? There might be guys walking around naked.”

“I don’t see why that would be an issue.”

“What if you saw two guys hooking up in one of the common areas of the house, how would you react?”

“Well I guess that depends.”

“On what?”

“How hot are they?”

Tanner laughed. “Congratulations, Mike, you passed with flying colors. I can’t wait for you to meet my boyfriend.”

 

* * *

 

“Aww, that’s sweet. I didn’t know you did that.”

“Well it was much for me as it was for you. We know if any of those things happen, I’m going to be the instigator.”

“That’s the truth. So are you one of us, Mike?”

“Well, like Paris said, I think everyone has at least thought about it. I’ve been with Jewel a really long time. If that ever changes, I guess you could say I’m open-minded.”

“That’s cool. Were you surprised at the interview?”

“I had watched some of the videos before I met with Tanner, so I had an inkling of what I was getting myself into. It’s hard to tell sometimes whether he’s joking, but he jokes about it a lot. Sneaking out the window to meet boys, you, Quentin.”

“That’s the idea,” Tanner said. “I knew if I decided to try to hide it, it would be a constant source of anxiety that something would slip through. So I decided to make it a long-running inside joke. I wanted my fans to get used to seeing me act gay. That way if I slip up, they’ll just write it off as part of the joke.”

“Impressive.”

“I call it hiding in plain sight. I’m not sure it’s quite at the level of being able to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose any followers, but I’m pretty sure if something leaked of me making out with Dylan or sticking my hand down his pants, most people would believe it’s just acting, for a dare or something.”

“Plus it’s kind of the best of both worlds because it lets people see what they want to see,” Dylan added. “Fans who want us to be straight can believe it’s a joke, and fans who want us to be gay can believe it’s not.”

“And there are even a few fans aware that bisexuality is a thing, bless them,” Tanner interrupted.

“Tanner’s performance makes it hard to tell who’s right, and everybody’s happy.”

“So have there been slip-ups? Or things you just decided to leave in?”

“Well there were about five times that we kissed,” Dylan said.

“And that one time I took my shirt off and handed it to you — you sniffed it and made your ecstasy face.”

“And that reading fanfiction video last fall.”

“I was practically sitting on Dylan’s lap in the hot tub! And you couldn’t tell whether he was looking over my shoulder to read my screen or kissing it.”

“And?” Mike looked at Dylan for explanation.

“It was both. I originally leaned in to read, but when I got that close and the smell started to take over, I snuck in a few kisses.”

“Quentin was sitting as far away from us as possible! More recently, Dylan admitted in one of his videos that hypothetically if he was gay, he would want to date me. And then Logan whispers, ‘He’s gay.’”

“I’ve kind of been toying with the idea of coming out. The main reason I haven’t is Tanner.”

“It’s pretty easy to draw a line from Dylan’s gay to he’s in love with me, to I would have to know, to I probably wouldn’t have invited him to move across the country and live with me rent-free if I was at all bothered by that. So I’m hoping we can wait a couple years or so and come out together, after I’m 20 and a lot of our fans have had a little more time to grow up.”

“So I have to wait.”

“You know, if you ever get to a point where you need to, I’m not going to stop you. I’m not ready yet, but if you are, I’ll deal with the consequences.”

“I think admitting there’s an ‘us’ is the best part of it. It’s worth it to wait for that. Plus I don’t want to do anything that puts pressure on you. I’m living in a house that you pay for. Your channel supports us. So what’s good for you is good for me.”

“We’re in this together, Dylan. Everything I have is yours. I wish things were different, but I appreciate you understanding we need to do what’s best for the channel.” Turning to Mike, Tanner added, “And that means we have to cover things up or leave out a lot more than we leave in.”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve had to pretend to be sleeping somewhere other than Tanner’s bed for a video.”

“We’ve filmed a lot of fake wake-up scenes. And that whole time in Hawaii, you had to keep moving back and forth between my bed and Quentin’s. See, the three of us were sharing a room with two beds. And since I was paying for the trip, it would make sense that I would get one of them, so whenever we were filming, Dylan had to be sharing with Quentin.”

“And as soon as the camera went off, I’d jump back into the other bed.”

“Not that we did a whole lot with Quentin in the room. But I sleep a lot better when Dylan’s with me. Always have, since we were kids. Before that, I was always trying to sleep in my mom’s bed or Tristan’s. But Dylan’s the best security blanket I ever had,” thinking back to this morning. “Let’s see, what else?”

“Well, speaking of Quentin.”

“Oh yes! And then there’s Quanner. Probably the biggest thing we’ve done to deflect attention away from our relationship is keep up the joke that there’s something going on between me and Quentin.”

“Have you ever done anything with him?”

“One time I got him to jerk off with us, but that was it. He basically runs for the hills if he catches us eyeing each other.”

“Probably with good reason most of the time,” Dylan said.

“So, the way we’ve structured the joke, we basically play exaggerated gay versions of ourselves. And Dylan’s character has a crush on me, but my character has a crush on Quentin. And when we can get Quentin to play along, he’s supposed to like me too. But most of the time he doesn’t, and that’s OK, because that’s how you know it’s a joke. Quentin is obviously straight.”

 

* * *

 

[January 2018; Wichita]

Dylan and Quentin had both moved into Tanner’s house shortly before he took a break from YouTube. Quentin was sleeping on the couch in the downstairs living room outside Tanner’s room, and Dylan with Tanner. It was getting late on one of their first nights there.

“I don’t want to make you feel left out, but I think me and Dylan are ready for bed. Mind if I close the door?”

“Please do. I hear enough sex noises through it.”

Tanner shot Quentin a glare. _I did not spend the last few years trying to get him over his self-consciousness for you to draw attention to his slurping_. “I’m sorry my orgasms are too loud for you! Just for that I’m going to moan a little louder tonight!” 

“I’ll get my headphones.”

Tanner shut the door and hoped Dylan bought it. “Sorry about that babe. I can get the room soundproofed if you want.”

 

* * *

 

“Don’t get us wrong, he’s been a terrific friend to both of us,” said Dylan.

“It’s just our relationship has been awkward for him, and he hasn’t been shy about letting us know. We’ve tried really hard to not let him feel like a third wheel. So much that a lot of the time I feel like I have to make it seem that Dylan is.”

“Tanner and I have always had a special closeness though. If you pay attention to how things are when the three of us are together and we’re not acting, it’s not hard to tell.”

“Example?”

Tanner looked back at the chronological list of videos on his channel, around where it was before when they watched the fanmail video. “Here’s one: ‘WHO KNOWS ME BETTER CHALLENGE! (BEST FRIEND VS BEST FRIEND).’”

“In which Dylan beats Quentin by a mile,” Dylan said.

 

* * *

 

[February 2017; Augusta]

“How is this a fair contest?”

“We’ve been best friends for six years, Quentin. I spend at least as much time with you as I do with Dylan. You have access to all the same information.”

“If I was listening maybe I would. No one can compete with Dylan when it comes to paying attention to you. He’s been hanging on your every word since before I even knew you.”

“I’m not going to ask about anything before your time. I think the questions are actually pretty slanted in your favor.”

“I’m still putting my money on your biggest fan.”

“You know, I never win anything against either of you guys,” Dylan said. “This will be nice for a change.”

 

* * *

 

“And all the comments on that video are saying, ‘it should be best friend vs boyfriend’ —”

“Which is ironic, because it is,” Dylan interrupted.

“Except they all think Quentin is the boyfriend. When you can see from the video what a lousy boyfriend he’d be.”

“And yet people ship it. A lot more than us.”

“I’ve noticed people believe what they hear a lot more than what they see. Like Dylan said, I’ve kissed him about five or six times in various videos, and they were all pretty natural, us being excited to see each other, even though we try to go into character to make it seem fake. And the one time I kissed Quentin, it was a complete setup.”

“You did play that clip 20 times, so they’ve seen it a lot more than us.”

“But any other time I’ve tried to kiss Quentin as part of our subterfuge, he dodges away from me.”

“Like the time you surprised us coming back from California.”

“Or take the cuddling scene we did in Hawaii. We had Dylan move over to Quentin’s bed and pretend to sleep, and I was going to wake them up by getting in bed with them. You see me try to give Quentin a quick hug before he throws me off, and then when I cuddle Dylan he snuggles closer to me and it lasts longer.”

“Because that’s what my character would do, of course.”

“But all it takes is me saying in a Q&A a few times that I like Quentin better and people buy it.”

“That one we did the first time you took me to LA.”

“Right, so Dylan and I are doing a Q&A and the question comes up, who would I rather date, him or Quentin. And I said, things wouldn’t work out between me and Dylan because we’re too much alike.”

“Was that code for something? You basically said we’re both bottoms.”

Tanner laughed. “Yeah, I was trying to say if I was gay I would want a ‘real man’ like Quentin. Fake news.”

“It wasn’t just talk, though. Quentin was in a lot more videos than I was, and it sure seemed like you were choosing him over me when he went on all those trips before I did.”

“Sometimes it’s easier to film with him since we’re just friends, there’s nothing to hide. And you and I had a lot of ups and downs, since we were more and I didn’t want to admit it. There were a lot of times I pushed you away.”

“I know.”

“Which reminds me, we’ve gotten sidetracked from our story.”

“That’s right!” Mike said. “I can’t wait to hear what horrible thing that awful Tanner did next to our sweet Dylan.”

“Well you won’t be disappointed. Believe it or not, I have done worse things than not cheating on my girlfriend.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Last year was an amazing year for me in so many ways, but it was also really difficult,” Tanner explained. “I hadn’t switched my diet because I didn’t know that’s what was causing my side pain, so I was dealing with that all the time. My anxiety was pretty bad a lot of the time. And more than anything, trying to do daily videos was just way too stressful. I would take breaks thinking it would make it better, but every time, as soon as I came back, the same problems were there. And I made a lot of good videos and a _lot_ of money and got to do so many things I wanted to do, but I was constantly questioning whether it was worth all the stress. And none of that excuses how I treated Dylan, I know, but it did affect my mental state. It’s hard to be good for someone else when you’re in that kind of state.”

“It was the junk food that made him do it,” Dylan joked. “I’m good with that excuse.”

“He’s very forgiving. It’s a beautiful part of him, but I’ve taken advantage of it too many times.”

“It’s only been a week since we moved in, but I can already tell you guys are one of the happiest couples I know,” Mike said. “Whatever happened, it worked out. You’ve obviously come a long way since then.”

“We have. And this was a part of that. The problems we had, they had to get bad enough for me to see what I was doing to realize I needed to change. It had to get bad enough for other people to see it. And even when they did, most people won’t stand up to me. Not that I’m blaming anyone else, but that’s kinda how it is for someone in my position. Even with my mom, and I’m definitely not blaming her for anything, things changed. I bought our house and paid her salary. And some of my more critical fans could see it, they didn’t like it either, but they were right. Fame changed me. I got used to getting what I want.”

“That happens.”

“And of all the people I had to worry about, no one was ever more eager to please me than Dylan. He was just always there whenever I needed anything from him, and he never asked for anything. He’s such a giver. It was so easy to take him for granted. I could neglect him and it was one less thing I had to worry about, so I did.”

“I liked making your life easier. Sometimes it seemed like when you were with me was the only time you relaxed.”

“It was! And I needed that so much, but I didn’t value it, value you. It wasn’t always like that. For a long time I at least tried to take your feelings into account some of the time. I’m not sure when I stopped. It wan’t when I was with Paris.”

“No, things were pretty good between us after those first couple months.”

“I remember watching ‘HIS FIRST TIME,’” Mike commented, “and noticing that Tanner would ask Dylan every five seconds if you were having a good time. And Dylan was walking around with this huge grin, obviously having a great time in LA. Like he would have been happy if you had taken him to IHOP —”

“I would have!”

“— and this was so much better. But you had no idea and constantly needed to check.”

“That’s what anxiety will do. And part of that was I felt really guilty that I’d gone on all those trips with Quentin and had never taken Dylan before. He couldn’t get permission the first time I asked, and I just assumed it would always be that way. It was way too long before I asked again, and then I was determined to make it the best experience for him. So yeah, that was a good time for us.”

“It was,” Dylan agreed.

“A few weeks later I broke up with Paris, and I know Dylan was hoping once I got over her that it would be our time. And I kinda went back and forth on that. I’d consider it enough to get his hopes up – we started to get closer in Hawaii – and then push him away, trying to keep things how they were. I’d always been happy with that, or so I thought, although I knew he wanted more. I tried to tell myself it was just physical, but to do that I had to ignore how much he was taking care of me emotionally. And I was pretty messed up. I rented a house in California for a month to see a therapist, and didn’t see Dylan at all. And after a few weeks of that, I realized I needed him at least as much as the therapist, so I came home early.”

“Things got really good then,” Dylan said.

“They did. If you look at the videos where we kissed and left it in, most of them happened around then, late September. I thought I was finally ready to call Dylan my boyfriend, and not just in a joking way like we did in the videos. We were pretty happy for a few weeks, but I got cold feet again. So then we cooled off for a few weeks, and then we got closer again around Halloween. One of our last good times was the reenacting fanfiction video in the hot tub.”

“That was hot,” Dylan said.

“It was. When we made love that night, I couldn’t deny anymore that’s what it was. But I couldn’t face it either. I freaked out and ran. I took another trip to LA, then went on a road trip with the Paynes. I was going anywhere and doing anything to get my mind off Dylan. And when I came back I was more determined than ever not to fall for him.”

“So you kept avoiding him?” Mike asked.

“Not exactly. I mean, yeah, I kept him away most days. And that was bad enough. And then when I did see him, well, that was probably worse.”

 

* * *

 

[December 2017; Augusta]

“Are you planning to go to Tanner’s tonight?” Kyle asked. “If so, we should leave now while you have a ride. I have an early start and I’m gonna be going to bed soon.”

“Thanks, I forgot my car was still dead. I’ll check.” Dylan sent a text to Tanner, then waited a minute to get a reply. When it came, Kyle saw Dylan’s spirit sink. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

“That’s what he said last night, before he changed his mind.”

“I know. I told him I won’t have a ride later, though, so if he does, maybe he’ll pick me up.”

“Wouldn’t that be an idea. Him doing something for you.”

Dylan realized Kyle had a point: He probably couldn’t count on Tanner for a ride. _Guess I’ll be alone tonight_.

“Hey, it’ll be OK. I hate seeing you so sad. I wish I could tell you you won’t always have an asshole for a boyfriend. He’ll come around.” _He better. Lord knows you won’t dump him if he doesn’t_.

“Thanks Kyle. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Two hours later, Dylan got a message from Tanner. It was a picture of his dick with the words “come over.” His momentary excitement – _he wants me!_ – deflated when he remembered the car situation. 

“Need a ride,” Dylan typed back.

“Get here if you want it,” Tanner replied. “Limited time offer.”

_Oh no, Kyle’s gonna kill me_. Dylan crept quietly to Kyle’s room and knocked on his door. When there was no answer, he slowly went in. “Kyle. Kyle, wake up.”

“What?” Kyle groggily answered, knowing exactly why Dylan was in his room.

“Can I please, please get a ride to Tanner’s?”

“Again? It’s too late, just tell him you can’t.”

“C’mon. It’s Tanner. You know I’ll walk if I have to.”

“It would take three hours at a good pace.”

“Then I’ll run.”

“He won’t be waiting.”

“I know. But I have to try. I’m going if you won’t take me.” Dylan stepped toward the door.

_Fuck_. Kyle knew he couldn’t have his little brother wandering the streets in the middle of the night. Although Dylan was only a month away from turning 18, his family didn’t have a lot of confidence in his ability to take care of himself. “Wait.”

“Thanks Kyle, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Kyle sighed. _We gotta stop having this conversation_.

Twenty minutes later, they pulled up to Tanner’s mansion.

“Wait here. If he lets me stay, I’ll text you. At the rate things are going, I’ll probably be out in 10 minutes.”

As if Kyle wasn’t disgusted enough getting dragged out of bed, he had to witness his brother’s complete lack of self-respect. _How can he put up with that?_

Less than three minutes later, Dylan came back to the car, tears streaming down his face.

“What happened?”

Dylan was silent in between whimpers.

“Tell me.”

More silence and tears.

“Dylan, that’s the third time in the past week you’ve left his house crying. We can’t go on like this. You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“I think … he … doesn’t love me anymore,” Dylan managed to get out in between sobs.

“That would make him an idiot. What did he do to make you think that?”

“You know nothing can change how I feel about him.”

“Yes, I know. I don’t understand how or why that is, but I believe you. You love him and it’s forever. But you can’t expect the rest of us who love you to do nothing while we watch him hurt you. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to help you, but I have to try. Just like you said you had to do for him.”

“It’s um, uh, hard to talk about.”

“I know. But it’s me. You’ve always been able to talk to me about anything. That’s why I’ve known longer than anyone else. Remember? You were in second grade when you told me you were going to marry Tanner. And I know you haven’t had second thoughts about that a single day in the past 10 years. So if there’s anyone you can tell, it’s me.”

Kyle waited as Dylan gathered the courage to open up.

“We used to cuddle. We used to kiss. We used to talk. Since he came back this last time, there hasn’t been any of that. It’s like he’s a different person. It’s like we’re not even friends anymore.”

“Gosh I’m sorry, that’s terrible. And you don’t know what changed?”

“I try to talk to him about it, but he won’t talk to me. It’s like he only wants one thing from me.”

“Maybe you should stop giving it to him.”

Dylan gave Kyle an unimpressed look.

“It sounds like he’s treating you like a whore. I know that’s not what you want.”

“It’s not, but I can’t help it. It’s _Tanner_. I’m always going to come when he calls me, and I don’t care what that makes me.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Tell me more.”

“So I know he’s been going back and forth the last few months on our relationship. Sometimes he wants it to be real like I do and sometimes he wants to keep it casual. But even when we were ‘just friends,’ we were still really affectionate. It’s been kinda blurry whether that was friendship love or love love, but I never doubted he loved me on some level. He’s been really distant since he left for LA last month, and then since he’s been back, he’s like, all business.”

“Did something happen before he left?”

“We were in a really good place then, or so I thought.”

“That’s weird.”

“Yeah. So I haven’t been seeing him much except when he asks for me at night. And basically we do our thing and then he wants me to leave. I would try to cuddle him and he’d push me off and say he just wants to sleep. I ask if I can stay the night and he says no. I tried to get a goodbye kiss and he said no to that too. He wouldn’t even hug me. That was what the first two times were about. I thought maybe he was just in a bad mood but then it kept happening.”

“It’s not right, you know. You spending what little money you have to drive over there to get treated like that, or me driving you. You shouldn’t have to get a minimum-wage job so you can afford a millionaire’s blowjobs, and it definitely shouldn’t be costing me. If you’re going to let him treat you like a whore, you should at least get gas money.”

“I can’t ask him for anything. I don’t want him to think I’m after his money.”

“Dylan, _how_ could he _possibly_ think that? You loved him when he had nothing. When he had no fans and no money, and no looks and no body, and not even any other friends, you looked at him like he was a god! He has to know that.”

“I guess.”

“I know how it is with you. Your top five priorities are Tanner, Tanner, Tanner, Tanner and Tanner. Do you ever think about what you need?”

“I need him. I don’t think there’s anything else.”

“OK, but _what_ do you need from him? Because you’re not getting it.”

Silence.

“I hate that you’re going through this. And this is right after we took down and rebuilt that tower for him. Logan and I did most the heavy lifting. Obviously he didn’t have a problem with asking you to ask us to help him.”

“That was pretty much the one good day since he’s been back. He seemed normal.”

“I didn’t notice anything. If I’d known …”

_Don’t_.

“What about tonight?”

“What about it?”

“What happened? You explained the first two. Something else happened tonight.”

“Nothing really.”

“What do you mean? I get that there wasn’t much time for anything, but why did you leave so quickly?”

“He asked me to.”

“Why?”

“Because he, uh, didn’t need me anymore. He said I was too late. I guess he was jerking while he was waiting. He apologized, said I just missed it, and he wanted to go to bed. He wouldn’t even let me clean him off.”

“I should turn around and go back there.”

“Not now. He’ll be asleep by now anyway.”

“You woke me up for this.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Dylan. None of it is. And you’re right, now’s not the best time, though I’m not sure how much sleep either of us are getting.”

“You don’t have to do anything.” _Please don’t_.

“Someone needs to. I have to try.”

“Don’t hurt him.”

“I’m just going to talk to him. You can be there.”

Dylan sunk into his seat.

“I promise, I won’t make it worse. It’s a lot more likely to get worse on its own if we do nothing.”

_I hope you’re right._

 

The next day Tanner agreed to meet with Kyle and Dylan.

“Again I’m sorry about last night, Dylan. Sometimes I forget how long it takes you to get here. I wish we still lived as close by as we used to.”

“Me too. It would be a lot easier for me if I could walk. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about if my car’s working, or if it has gas, or if I can get a ride if it’s not.”

“Is it getting fixed soon?”

“That’s not really the point, Tanner,” Kyle said.

“I apologize to you too, Kyle. I know you have better things to do than drive him around all the time. And I know I owe you for helping me out the other day. Do you want me to help with the repairs?”

“That would be a start. The bigger issue, though, is, do you care about Dylan?”

“Of course I do! He’s my best friend.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. No, wait, it depends on what you mean. I’m not sure.”

“I think it’s a simple question. Do you love my brother?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to figure that out. I’ve been confused.”

“OK, well going back to ‘you care about him,’ do you think the way you’ve been treating him the past week or so, is that how someone treats their best friend? Or anyone they care about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, ignoring him, brushing him off when he wants to spend time with you, the late-night booty calls, after which you quickly go back to avoiding him.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes. Do you ever think about what Dylan needs?”

“Well, um, I’ve been trying to give it to him while I figure things out.”

“Wow. Is that what you think? Can’t you see you’re hurting him?”

“I’m sorry, Dylan, I didn’t mean to. I thought it’s what you wanted.”

“You thought he wanted to be used for sex and thrown out?”

Tanner sighed. “Look, the way Dylan loves me, it’s pretty intense. It scares me. I don’t know if I can ever love him back that much. I feel like I have to be really sure if I decide I do, because there’s like no going back from that.”

“Haven’t you gone back on it, like, three times now?”

“I know. And each time I hurt him. So I’m trying not to do that again.”

“Not very well, I think. How exactly are you trying?”

“I’m trying to keep feelings from getting involved. We have an understanding. Friends with benefits.”

“Then why did you start avoiding all the things you used to do as friends?”

“Well, that’s just it. Why I kept hurting him before. Being around Dylan, those feelings keep cropping up. I know if I spend too much time with him, I’ll start feeling things again, and I don’t want to confuse him or let him down again.”

“If you can’t be around him without feeling something, have you considered maybe that he’s right for you? Like you would actually be happy if you would just let yourself love him?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. But since I’m not sure, I’ve been trying to keep things just physical. Like if I was straight and there was no possibility of it being more. I’ve been trying to act like a straight guy would if he was doing something with a guy.”

“Look, if all you want is a mouth, download Grindr.”

Dylan jumped in to defend Tanner. “It’s not that easy. He’s—”

“I know. You’re famous and you can’t have anyone finding out, though I’m not sure why exactly you can’t just come out. But let’s say you can’t. You’re hardly the only guy in that situation. Surely you have friends you could discuss that with. What does Cameron Dallas do?”

“Dylan, you told him!? I could get in trouble for that!”

Kyle laughed. “You think I needed inside information to figure that out? Relax, Dylan didn’t say a word. He’s not hiding it that well.”

Tanner blushed. “Oh. Well in that case, he mostly does the same thing I do. His friends. I don’t want to be the kind of guy who keeps a stack of nondisclosure agreements by my bed. And it’s not just that. I want it to be Dylan. I like it with Dylan.”

“Why?”

“Well for one thing, he’s really good at it, but that’s not the only reason. I know I can trust him completely. And it just feels so right when we’re together.”

“And why do you suppose that is?”

Tanner stopped to think. “Because I love him? I love him. Omigod, Dylan, I love you!” As the realization hit him, Tanner was flooded with awareness of how he’d hurt Dylan.

_It worked?_ “I love you too!” _Kyle is amazing!_

“And I’ve treated you horribly! I’m so sorry! You’re right, Kyle, the way I’ve been acting is wrong. I need to change.”

“It’s OK, I forgive you.”

“No, Dylan it’s not. I know this is going to be hard for you, but I really need you to let me earn your forgiveness. We can’t just pretend this didn’t happen. I need to take some time to think about what I did and why and how I’m going to be sure it never happens again.”

“Nooo.”

“I think he’s right bro, this is what’s best.”

“It is. I don’t want to punish you, Dylan, because none of this is your fault. I promise I’m only doing this because I want to be a better boyfriend to you. I need to get a taste of what my life would be like without you so I can appreciate you.”

“While you’re on that line of thought, can I suggest you think about what your life would be like if you never had Dylan in it? You’ve always had his support no matter what you did, and I don’t think you’ve ever realized how that affected you.”

“That’s fair. I promise I’m not going to drag this out longer than I have to, but I’m also not give up on it until I’m sure I’ve really learned something. Probably two or three weeks at most. I know I’m going to want us back together by Christmas — and definitely before Night Shenanigans and your birthday. Can you trust me to do that?”

_If I have to_. “Of course.”

“Thank you. Is there anything you want to say to me before? We’re not going to be able to talk for a little bit while I’m sorting things out, but if you feel like you need to during that time, you can write it down or record a message and I promise I’ll go through every one when it’s over. But right now, if there’s anything you want to add to what I should be thinking about, or anything you want to get off your chest, I want to make sure I give you that chance.”

“Just that I love you. You know I always have. This whole time, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to love me and want to be with me, since we kissed in the pool and before that even. And lately, this past month, it has been hard on me. But if I have that, none of this will matter. I’m going to miss you, but I do want things to be better. I want us to have a real relationship. I want it to last.”

“We will. I’m going to figure out what I need to do to make that happen. What about you, Kyle? Anything else?”

“Yeah, actually. I know it hasn’t been that long since you’ve had to think about money, but it seems like you don’t have a lot of awareness of what it’s like for people who don’t have what you have, and how much you ask of them. We’re not exactly poor, but it costs Dylan to do things that you make money off of and he doesn’t.”

“OK.”

“And another thing, I don’t want to judge what either of you guys are into, ’cause it’s not my business, but from what I know of your relationship, it hasn’t been all that equal. I think you should consider how that’s affected things.”

“OK. Well you’ve given me a lot to think about. Thanks for doing this for us and for Dylan. I’d hate to think of how much longer I would have gone on hurting him if you hadn’t stepped in. It can’t have been easy to do that.”

“Thanks for listening. I didn’t expect it to go this well.”

Tanner shared a long goodbye hug and kiss with Dylan. They were both teary-eyed before it was done.

 

* * *

 

[later that month; Wichita]

Before getting started explaining things, Tanner jumped onto Dylan and gave him a big kiss.

“I’m happy to see you too. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Dylan, but I think it worked. I think I figured out where I went wrong and what I can do to fix it.”

“I’m all ears.”

“First, I just want to say I love you and I want to be with you. I think I’m ready now to give you what you need. And there are a lot of things I need to talk about, but before we get into that, I want to make sure you know that. I want to be your boyfriend.

“When I thought about what stopped me before, I know sometimes I make fun of you and put you down. And a lot of that is pretty normal for how friends are, but I realized I’ve always done it to you and you’ve never done it to me. And even though I meant it to be joking, I think I started to believe some of the things I said. And when I realized I was starting to fall for you and got scared, one of the things that was stopping me, I realized — I’m ashamed to say this — I didn’t think you were good enough for me. And boy was I ever wrong about that.

“I’ve worked really hard for my success, especially this past year trying to be daily most of the time. I promised I would do it all year and I so cannot wait for this year to be over, because I think the pressure from it has a lot to do with the mistakes I’ve made. Planning, filming, performing in and editing my videos is a lot of work, and when it started to pay off, it really felt like I was doing it all on my own. I overlooked how much other people were contributing being a part of them with me. And the two people who contributed the most to the videos were you and Quentin. And more than that, there were people who contributed to making me who I am and someone who was capable of doing all this. And the two people who contributed the most to that were you and my mom. And I don’t think I’ve appreciated any of you enough, but I know I’ve given both of them more recognition for what they’ve done than I ever have to you. 

“You were always there for me. You believed in me, you supported me. Whenever I had an idea, it didn’t matter how crazy it was, I could always count on you to go along with it. And whenever I failed at something, no matter how many times I did, you never laughed at me. I never had to worry about what you would think because I knew you would love me no matter what. I had to take a lot of chances to make my success, and I had the confidence to do that because of you, and my mom. I think anyone with a friend like you could have become a star. You made me who I am, and I’ll always love you for that.

“For a long time we lived a few blocks apart, and that worked out really well for us. Part of the problems we had lately had to do with the distance since I moved into this house. Even though it’s only a few miles, it’s far enough. And also, since I did online school and finished it, I haven’t had a schedule while you did, along with other family responsibilities. You’re going to be 18 soon. You’ll be able to change to online school if you want. Even though you only have a few months left of school, I want you to do that. Then I want you to move in with me. Wherever I go, whether it’s staying in this house, or traveling, or if we end up moving to California, I want you by my side. And since I know I’d be taking you away from your family and they still depend on you too, I’ll send the people who help take care of things around my house over there to help your family.

“If I tried to calculate what I owe you just for your part in my videos, even without taking into consideration anything else, it would be a lot. I thought about trying to do that, but it would be a lot of work and a lot of math, and I don’t think it matters, because I’m going to take care of you. From now on you are part of my family.

“Finally, I’m going to work on making things more equal between us. In some ways I’ve always had a boyfriend while you’ve mainly had a frequently horny friend. I’m going to focus on being good for you and giving you what you need. So what do you say, Dylan?”

 

* * *

 

“I say we’re here,” Mike interrupted. “Time for the meeting.”

“Good timing. Just when things started getting better.”

“I’ve actually been driving around for a few minutes waiting for you to get to the end of that story. I didn’t think you’d be in the right frame of mind to go in until you did.”

“Wow, you’re good.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Tanner took as shirt off when they got back to the car. “So where were we?” 

“Well,” Mike answered, “we learned that you’re Bette Midler, Dylan’s Barbara Hershey, and you just finished singing ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings.’”

“Huh?”

“‘Beaches.’ It’s an ’80s movie, a chick flick but iconic. You guys should watch it.”

“Noted.”

“So you finally declared your love for Dylan, asked him to move in with you, and things got better. Did they, Dylan?”

“Oh yes. 100 percent.”

“I wouldn’t say 100 percent right away. It might have taken me a few weeks to work up to that. Next we told our families.”

 

* * *

 

[December 2017; Wichita]

“I have an announcement to make. Dylan and I are together now, and he’s going to be moving in sometime in the next month.”

“Finally!” Tristan said. “It’s about time.”

“Congratulations,” Kim said. “I think we all knew this was coming. Dylan, you know you’ve always been a part of our family. We’re sorry it took so long.”

“Seriously, did everyone know but me?” Tanner asked.

Taylor nodded and mumbled a congratulations to Dylan.

 

“That went well.”

“You know they love you.”

“How could they not.”

“My thoughts exactly. So, your family …”

“Yeah?”

“We need to go shopping.”

“Do we?”

“You have 11 brothers and sisters. The real question is, do we even have enough time to do that much shopping.”

“I doubt it. And it’s 10 — 11 including me.”

“Well let’s get started. Best Buy?”

 

The next day they showed up at Dylan’s house with a large sack of presents.

“Merry Christmas!” Tanner announced.

“Merry Christmas!” Karen answered. “You can set those over there. Dinner’s almost ready.”

When everyone was seated, Dylan spoke.

“So, as you probably figured out, Tanner and I have some news to share. He’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m very happy for you, honey,” Karen said. There were assorted cheers from Dylan’s siblings.

“And, after I get my school situation worked out, I’m going to be moving in with him.”

“Can I have his room?” Peyton asked.

“And I’ve hired some people to help out around here, so you don’t think Dylan is skipping out on his chores,” Tanner explained.

“That’s lovely, Tanner,” Karen said. “I’m not ready to let my baby go yet, so I think we’ll keep his room open, at least for a few months. Not to imply anyone thinks you two aren’t going to last.”

“They better,” Kyle said.

“Thanks Mom. It’ll be nice to have it when I come back to visit, especially if Tanner and I end up moving somewhere else. And thanks Kyle. You’re a big part of our happiness.”

“I second that.”

 

* * *

 

“And then the viewers — well we didn’t tell them, of course, but tried to give an explanation for why it had been so long since they’d seen him, in ‘NIGHT SHENANIGANS 3.’ And we gave them a kiss.”

“And I had to film another pissing scene.”

“It’s our annual tradition, Dylan pees on camera,” Tanner explained.

“Got it,” Mike said.

“I still wasn’t in the videos very much for another month.”

“I couldn’t keep my hands off of him whenever he was around, so there wasn’t much usable footage. And I think we wanted to be ourselves with each other while we were getting used to our relationship, and not have to act. I loved seeing how happy Dylan was. I didn’t want him to have to tone it down for a video.” 

“I was pretty chipper. Getting what you’ve always wanted will do that.”

“How long exactly was always?”

“Well we met when we were 4 in soccer.”

“I was the cutest boy on the soccer field! At least that’s what we’re telling our grandkids.”

“I think it was probably a little later, after we’d been friends for a while, but that happened right away. I don’t remember a time when we weren’t friends, and I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love Tanner. It was just there before I knew what it was. But it wasn’t really full-on pining until sixth grade.”

“I was the cutest boy who played Pirates of the Caribbean Online as Edgar McSteel. I’d like to say more than that, but there are pictures that say otherwise.”

“You were always beautiful. He was, don’t let him tell you otherwise. I thought he was perfect, but I had no idea he’d grow up to be this hot.”

“You did pick a winner,” Mike said, then turned to Tanner. “And it must be nice for you knowing you’re all he’s ever wanted.”

“It is. I’ll never have to worry about Dylan cheating on me. He barely even notices other guys.”

 

* * *

 

[one month ago, same night as earlier; Philadelphia]

“That’s it babe, cum for me.” Tanner watched enthusiastically over FaceTime as Dylan finished masturbating, while trying to give Dylan a good view of the puddles on his own abs.

“That was nice.”

“Sure was. Gotta make sure you empty those nuts if I’m gonna leave you alone with a bunch of good-looking guys.”

Dylan chuckled. “Everyone here knows I have a boyfriend, and I think they’re all straight.”

“Yeah, well I used to think I was straight too, and that didn’t stop me from hooking up with you.”

“I don’t think you need to worry.”

“Oh yeah? Let’s ask them. Take me out there.”

“OK, hold on, wait for me to get dressed.”

“If you must. On second thought, I might not want to test them that much.”

Dylan emerged from the bathroom to find Shark, Bailey, Solomon and Z looking at their phones. “Hey guys, Tanner has a question for you.”

“Hi Tanner,” they said as Dylan showed them his screen.

“OK, I want to know, does anyone here want to have sex with Dylan?”

“YES!” came four replies, much to Dylan’s embarrassment. “She’s the hottest girl on this bus,” Shark added.

“See! I told you!” Tanner said. 

Dylan realized he’d been set up. “Sorry guys, I have a boyfriend.”

“And we all want to stay friends with her,” Shark said. “That’s the only thing keeping us off of you.” Bailey nodded in agreement.

Dylan retreated to the bathroom to say goodnight to Tanner. When he came out again, the other guys were out of sight, except Z, who apologized. 

“I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable.”

“It’s OK, I’m used to it. He’s a joker.”

“He does have a point though. You’re a catch. He’s lucky to have you.”

“That’s what he just told me. And thanks.”

“I can tell he meant it.”

“Really? I mean things are great now, but I feel like I had to work pretty hard to get him to like me.”

“No, seriously. Whatever the reason for that was, I think it had more to do with him than you. And whatever he thought before, he’s head over heels now. Just like you. You guys have what everyone wants.”

“I sure feel lucky.”

“You are. So is he.”

Dylan felt good as he went to bed.

 

The next day, Shark resumed grilling him.

“New plan. I’m gonna name celebrity guys widely thought to be hot, you tell me if you’re attracted to them.”

“OK.”

“Cameron Dallas.”

“I mean yeah, but doesn’t everyone?”

“Fair point. We’ll call that a free one. You have three of those, but once you get three more past that, you’re gay.”

“OK.”

“Justin Bieber.”

“Before he had too many tattoos, but again …”

“Free one. Zac Efron.”

“Too beefy. ‘High School Musical’ era wasn’t bad though.”

“Zac Efron in 2007.”

“Free one.”

“OK, you’ve used those up. Shawn Mendes.”

“Not my type.”

“The Dolan twins.”

“I don’t really see the appeal.”

“Ryan Reynolds.”

“Too old.”

“Finn Wolfhard.”

“Too young.”

“Nick Jonas.”

“Nah.”

“Cole Sprouse.”

“Nah.”

“KJ Apa.”

“Nah.”

“Tom Holland.”

“Nah.”

“Tanner Braungardt.”

“More than anything.”

“You’re awake. Tanner Fox.”

“Ew.”

Shark laughed. “Jack Payne.”

“You wish.”

“That should have been a free one! Harry Styles.”

“Needs a haircut.”

“Brent Rivera.”

Dylan squirmed uncomfortably. “No.”

“What was that?”

“Tanner’s always had a thing for him. I can see why, but I like him about as much as I like Kate Upton.”

“Interesting. Grant Gustin.”

“Hmm. Maybe. I guess so.”

“Ross Lynch.”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I was more of a Nickelodeon than a Disney guy.”

“Drake Bell.”

“A few years ago yeah.”

“I’m counting that. One more and we have a pattern. Chris Hemsworth.”

“No.”

“Dylan O’Brien.”

“Not really.”

“Ross Butler.”

“No.”

“I need to think of someone closer to Tanner’s type. … Blake Gray.”

“Oh shit.”

“We have a winner!”

“I need to call Tanner.” Dylan placed the call.

“Hey babe what’s up!”

“I’m gay.”

Tanner stifled a laugh. “That’s great! For me, especially. It sure would have sucked if my boyfriend turned out to be straight!”

“I just wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have joked about it. I know this is a big deal for you.” Tanner thought back to his prank last night. “Wait a minute, this doesn’t mean — did one of the guys —”

“No, of course not. You’re still the only one for me.”

“But you are noticing other guys now?”

“A little.”

“That’s nothing to worry about. Trust me, I notice lots of hot guys, not to mention girls. It’s normal to feel that. Not that there was anything wrong with you when you didn’t. As long as you love me, it doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t attracted to anyone else.”

“Thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too. And I’m happy you know now.”

“Me too.”

“Are you gonna tell our friends?”

“I don’t think so. I think they all assume it anyway. Most people don’t get why I wasn’t sure, so I kinda let it go.”

“OK, well I won’t say anything.”

“You can confirm it if it comes up.”

“OK. Enjoy your day.”

“You too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

 

* * *

 

“I didn’t realize it was that recent,” Mike said. “So before that you were Tannersexual?”

“Something like that. It’s kind of like, you know how you can’t see the stars during the day because the sun is too bright? It’s like that with Tanner for me. Except in my world the sun is always shining.”

“Wow. That’s beautiful.”

“I don’t deserve him,” Tanner said.

“Well you got me.”

“And that makes me very lucky.”

“You’re better than me in pretty much every measurable way. You’re better looking, more talented, more driven, more charismatic — all the things that make you a star — plus you’re smarter and stronger. Not to mention your favorite thing to measure. I think most people would think I’m the lucky one.”

“They would, but they’d be wrong. The gifts I’ve been given and the work I’ve put into using them, they’ve brought me a lot of success. I can feel like I’ve earned that. But your love, it humbles me. The way you look at me, if I felt like I had to live up to that, the pressure would be overwhelming. That’s why meeting fans is so hard on my anxiety, I’m afraid to disappoint them. But with you, I know I don’t need to do anything. It’s amazing. Nothing can change how you feel. It’s just always there, and I can depend on it.”

“That’s right.”

“That’s what you do better: Love. And nobody’s better than you at that. And that’s everything.”

“Awww. I don’t know what to say.”

“You’ve given so much for so long, and I’ve barely gotten started trying to give it back. Which reminds me — I stopped being a dick after talking to Kyle, and things got better around Christmas, but I said I wanted to make things more equal, and that didn’t exactly happen right away.”

 

* * *

 

[January 2018, same night as before; Wichita]

Tanner and Dylan were making out for several minutes when Tanner stopped to make an observation. “I can’t believe there was ever a time when I thought I didn’t want to kiss you. Like how? I like everything about it.” He quickly picked up where he left off.

Dylan couldn’t get enough, and didn’t want to stop long enough to say so. It was Tanner who interrupted again after several more minutes.

“I got a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Of all the things that we do or have done in bed, and the things we haven’t done, what’s your favorite?”

“It’s always been sucking you.”

“Me too. It’s great that we’re both into the same thing so much. I think even if we start branching out to other things, that’s always going to be important.”

Dylan nodded.

“It really turns me on feeling how much you need it. I love feeding you, and that’s never going to change.”

“Good.”

“What’s your second-favorite thing?”

“I don’t know. Maybe something we haven’t done.”

“And that would be?”

Dylan’s eyes moved back and forth between two points, giving Tanner a clue to what he was too shy to say.

“You want me to suck you, don’t you?”

Dylan nodded. “It’s OK if you’re all top. I’ve gotten used to that.”

“I don’t know if it is. Maybe it would be if you were all bottom, but I know you’re not. It’s been over a month since I said I was going to change things, and I’ve still barely touched your dick. I don’t know what I’m afraid of. Everything else about having you as a boyfriend has been amazing.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You can whenever you feel like you’re ready.”

“I’m not – not yet – but I want to do something to get you off.”

“That’s fine too. And you already do, you know.”

“That’s generous. I do like seeing how turned on by me you are when you’re jerking off looking at my body. And you can definitely do that anytime you want. I just feel like I should try to be more involved.”

“I’d like that. Whatever you want, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. I’m looking forward to it, but if you decide you don’t like it, that’s OK too.”

“Everything is so easy with you.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid to try something because you feel like you’re going to be stuck with it.”

“I won’t. Now how about you keep kissing me until I’m ready for our favorite thing.”

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

“It seemed like you worked that out all right,” Mike said. “You guys really communicate well.”

“Tanner does. It’s a lot harder for me, so anytime I can get him to read my mind, it’s a plus.”

“That’s a real advantage of having a lifelong friendship. Dylan’s always been pretty quiet, but his face is really expressive. I have a lot of experience reading him — when I pay attention.”

“I guess so. So, um, how long did it take you to get over your fear?”

“My fear of dick? Well, actually,” Tanner said sheepishly, “it was about six hours ago.” 

“So that’s what was going on this morning! You seemed … different.”

“It’s true, I’m a changed man. As of this morning I have a new second-favorite thing.”

“That would be _my_ thing,” Dylan said with a hint of pride.

“Was it worth the wait?” Mike asked Dylan.

“Absolutely. If I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t think it was his first time.”

“I may have practiced a little.”

“On what?”

“Organic bananas.”

They laughed. “So what happened between then and now?”

“Well, let’s get back to that.”

 

* * *

 

[January 2018, continued]

“Oh … oh … fuck … yes … oh … Dylan … yes!” 

As promised, Tanner was being especially vocal, presumably to annoy Quentin in the next room. They were in bed, and Tanner was laying on his back as Dylan worked his magic. Soon Dylan was rewarded with a tasty load. After swallowing, Dylan got up on his knees. He was about to start jerking off, watching Tanner lay beneath him, when Tanner stopped him.

“Hold on, I want to try something.”

Tanner crunched up his legs and put his feet on Dylan, then slid them down and tried to grab Dylan’s dick between them. He gave Dylan a few strokes.

“Yeah, you can sit down for this.” Tanner found Dylan with his feet again and resumed the motion. “If this works, you can scooch up when you’re getting close if you want to make sure it lands on me. You like it?”

Dylan was pretty excited that Tanner was touching him at all. He nodded enthusiastically. Dylan looked down to watch as Tanner’s cute feet stroked him, then looked back at Tanner. Even as Tanner’s giant cock softened, it was still magnificent to behold. It wasn’t long before Dylan was squirting onto Tanner.

“I did it!” Tanner said proudly. 

Dylan smiled. “Yes you did.”

“And a pretty big load too, I see. Did you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I felt like this would be a way to get myself used to touching you. From a safe distance.”

“Whatever works for ya.”

“It felt really good knowing I made you nut. I’m gonna keep getting used to it.”

Dylan smiled.

“Would you like to clean me up? Wait — before you do, take a picture. I bet I look hot with so much of your jizz on me.”

After getting the picture, Dylan bent down and licked his cum off of Tanner.

“I’m going to have to try that someday. But probably not right away.”

 

* * *

 

“Quentin gave up on living with us, though he stayed still stayed over sometimes. I made it through January uploading every other day but gave up on any kind of schedule after that. February was pretty sporadic. We were together for ‘TRAMPOLINE TENT OVERNIGHT CHALLENGE,’ and that was nice spending time with Kyle. He got to see how good we were doing, and we gave our shippers a little something.”

“What was that?”

“Well, the tent completely filled the backseat of this car, so Kyle drove and I sat on Dylan’s lap. We had a good time with that, and Kyle made a tent joke: ‘I’m pretty sure Dylan is pitching one right now.’”

“He wasn’t wrong,” Dylan confessed.

“We talked to him when we decided to move, and he agreed to help us. I would have liked to have Dylan in my car for the trip, but I wanted to give them a chance to spend some time together.”

 

* * *

 

[two weeks ago; Wichita]

“You guys have come a long way the past few months, but this is still a big step.”

“We know. I think we’re ready for it,” Tanner said.

“I hope so. The thing you gotta realize about Dylan, he’s never going to change. He’s always going to put you first. So you can’t put it on him to take care of himself and let you know if he’s unhappy. The only way he doesn’t get completely overlooked is if someone else makes him a priority and always considers what he needs. That person needs to be you.”

“I will.”

“And Logan, you too. We were in middle school the first time we talked about protecting my little brother. I need you to look out for him. If Tanner doesn’t treat him right, I want to know about it.”

Logan looked at Tanner.

“Do it, please,” Tanner agreed. “If I’m ever not a boyfriend-of-the-year candidate, tell me and tell Kyle. That goes for everyone.”

“You got it.”

 

* * *

 

“That’s sweet,” Mike said. “I’m kinda jealous I didn’t get a lecture from Kyle. But then I guess I got it from you.”

“You did.”

“So is that everything?”

“Well, almost. There’s one kinda big thing we left out. From the RV trip. Should we tell him about that, Dylan?”

Sitting sideways in the backseat, Dylan looked up from his phone. “Up to you.”

“Logan was there for part of it, but not all of it. No one but us knows the whole story.”

“I think Mike knows more about us than anyone at this point.”

“That’s true, at least when it comes to the intimate details,” Tanner said. “We’ve told you a lot of things we haven’t told anyone else about.”

“Well we’ve got time,” Mike observed. “Traffic is just as bad this way, and my lips are sealed.”

“OK, well before we get started, I want to take another picture for Snapchat. Dylan looks so cute. The way you’re sitting in a pile of my clothes. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Tanner snapped the picture and typed a caption: “D-bag loves traffic.”

“Do you have to call me that?”

“I know, you hate nicknames. I still feel bad about Mylan.”

“People still call me that.”

“Well maybe this will replace it.”

“I’m not sure that’s any better.”

“How come The 17th Steven doesn’t bother you?”

“Because it came from you. It’s one of our special things. And it doesn’t sound like anything mean.”

“I know you’re not gonna like this, but it’s getting harder for me to hide my feelings. I feel like calling you D-bag puts me into character as ‘not your boyfriend.’ And that is still a role I have to play on YouTube and social media. I need to give you a hard time in public to protect what we have in private.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be that way, but I guess that makes sense.”

“You sure about that?” Mike asked. “I could tell Kyle.”

“It’s OK. I feel better knowing it’s just an act.”

“You know I never do it when it’s just us babe. I won’t, I promise.”

“OK.”

“We’re good then?”

“Yeah.”

“And I can tell the RV story?”

“Go ahead.” 


	7. Chapter 7

“OK, well I went on another road trip with the Paynes in their RV in February, and this time it was me, Dylan, Logan and Tristan. Shark actually insisted I bring Dylan because he didn’t want to spend another trip listening to me whine about how much I missed my boyfriend.”

“What? I didn’t know that.”

“I said I was trying everything I could to take my mind off you when I traveled with them in November, not that I succeeded. It was really hard avoiding you, and I let them know about it.”

“I think I’m OK with not being the only one who was suffering.”

“So one morning Dylan was up by himself doing school work near the front of RV.”

“It’s pretty easy to let that slide in online school. But everyone else had already graduated, and I at least wanted to do that on time.”

“And he looked _so_ cute sitting there shirtless in gray sweatpants and a white hat, trying to be responsible. And it was morning after all, and I was kinda horny.”

 

* * *

 

[February 2018; near Palm Springs, California]

“I think Dylan’s actually being responsible and doing his school work,” Logan informed Tanner as he was making his way toward the front.

“No way!”

“I’m actually doing a test.”

“Look at you go!” Tanner patted Dylan’s head. “Move your laptop out of the way so I can sit down and give you a kiss.”

“All right.” Dylan finished the problem he was working on and moved the computer. Wearing just a pair of blue boxer briefs, Tanner climbed onto the seat, straddled Dylan’s lap and kissed him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too.”

“You’re looking really cute today!”

“Thanks my love. You too.”

Tanner pressed his body against Dylan and whispered, “I want you. Want some breakfast?”

“I would but there’s not really any privacy here.”

“Please.” Tanner was getting hard.

“I guess we could go in the bathroom.”

“No. Out here.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

“Everyone here loves you and supports our relationship. We’re all friends.”

“Still, that’s pretty weird.”

“I’d like it if they saw. I want to show off what you can do.” By now Tanner was fully hard and sticking out a few inches above the waistband of his underwear. “Guess there’s no point in these anymore,” getting up just long enough to take them off. He was leaking precum and when he sat back down and pressed against Dylan again, he smeared some on Dylan’s abs.

 _Make me an offer I can’t refuse_. Dylan knew negotiations with Tanner only ended one way, but it would be interesting to find out what he was going to get besides a delicious snack.

“I’m just going to make a mess on you if you don’t.” By now Tanner could feel Dylan’s bulge growing under him as he sat on it. When it started to poke at his ass, he grinded against it. Tanner leaned in to Dylan’s ear and whispered, “I’ll let you fuck me.”

Dylan was not expecting that.

“I promise, if you just focus on me and my dick, you won’t know anyone else is here.”

 _It does seem like we’re the only people in the world sometimes when we’re together, but except for the occasional camera, we are alone_.

Tanner leaked some more precum onto Dylan. He scooped it up with his finger and ran it against Dylan’s lips. Dylan parted them and stuck out his tongue to lick Tanner’s finger, which quickly disappeared into Dylan’s mouth. Tanner pushed his finger back and forth as Dylan started to suck on it. “See babe, just like this. We’re practically already doing it.” Tanner pulled out his finger to scoop up some more precum, which Dylan eagerly awaited. “You ready? Are you gonna be OK with it if I call the guys up here?”

“I guess.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t regret this.” Tanner gave Dylan a quick kiss and then stood up so he wasn’t shouting in Dylan’s face. “Attention everyone! You’ve all heard me brag about how amazing Dylan is at giving head, and probably a time or two about the size of my dick as well. Well now’s your chance to see if it’s all true!”

“I’m game, Shark said. “It’ll be interesting to see if Tanner is really packing as much as she claims.” He emerged from the back and saw Tanner standing proudly naked in front of Dylan. “Oh god! It’s unbelievable. What have you been feeding that thing?” He moved to the front of the RV as Bailey and Logan popped out.

“Oh man you weren’t kidding!” Bailey said. “That is going in there?” Dylan opened his mouth to give the guys a look. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“As soon as Tristan comes out,” Tanner said.

“I’m not sure I want this image burned into my eyes,” Tristan shouted from the back.

“Dude, I know it’s your brother, but as someone who appreciates dick, you should at least check this out,” Logan said.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t shipped us from day one,” Tanner said.

“You have a point there,” he said, emerging. “I’ve always — holy fuck!”

What Tanner had would look big on anyone, but it was so disproportionate on his 5–8, 120-pound frame that it tended to shock people.

“OK, now that we’re all here we can begin. I should remind you that unlike me, Dylan is very shy, so please hold your applause.” Tanner stood on Dylan’s seat and kneeled against the back of the seat. “Remember, babe, it’s just us,” he said softly. “It’s just you and me. There’s no one else here. All you need is right here.”

Tanner sank inch by inch into Dylan’s mouth, and within seconds his massive tool had disappeared, to stunned looks from the audience. He pulled out and demonstrated again. As Dylan started to suck, Tanner realized he was perched somewhat precariously. “Babe, I think this will work better if I sit down.” Plus that way Dylan would be less likely to see the onlookers, with his back to them.

Dylan got up and Tanner took his place on the bench seat. Dylan knelt down in front of him and dove in. Dylan concentrated on Tanner and tried to forget where they were. He felt his skin burn up when he remembered he was being watched, but put it out of his mind as it focused on his goal: Tanner’s sweet, delicious cum. He needed it. He wasn’t going to stop until he got it.

Tanner, meanwhile, put on a show with his facial expressions and moaning, trying to relate exactly how good Dylan was making him feel. He bucked his hips as Dylan got him closer.

Dylan could sense his prize’s impending arrival and fell completely into the moment, savoring the feel of Tanner’s warm, hard flesh against his tongue and filling his mouth. He pulled up to the top few inches and focused his attention there, keeping his tongue in the line of fire. He worked it into a frenzy until he felt the first shot, then sucked greedily until the last drop. He sucked a little longer, careful to maintain the pool in his mouth. Then he got up, sat down next to Tanner, lacing their fingers together, and opened his mouth to show its quarry before he swallowed.

Tanner turned to kiss Dylan, taking time to show his appreciation. Then he looked to Shark. “I’m gonna need your keys.” Slightly confused, Shark handed them to Tanner.

“OK everyone, this concludes today’s performance. I’m going to need some time to detraumatize my boyfriend, so everyone has to leave — for about an hour. When you come back, if anyone says _one word_ about this to Dylan, or anywhere that he can hear you, you’re walking back to Kansas.”

“Who’s going to detraumatize me?” Tristan asked, bolting out.

“But it’s my RV,” Shark said. “And I don’t live in Kansas.”

“And if you want to get your RV back, you’ll either keep your mouth shut or make plans to meet us there, because that’s where you’ll find it.”

“I see.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Logan said, making his exit.

When Shark and Bailey left, Tanner locked the doors.

“I’ll be OK, you know,” Dylan said. “I’m glad we have some alone time, but you didn’t need to do that.”

“Oh yes, I did,” Tanner said, momentarily disappearing into the back. He returned with the bottle of lube they’d used just a few times.

“Oh. I didn’t realize this was happening now. I didn’t think you’d bring that on a road trip.”

“Well I did. And you were amazing just now, but I want to be alone for this. It’s your first time topping, and I certainly don’t want you to feel any added pressure.”

“I appreciate that. You’re sure about this?”

Tanner smiled. “We have a deal. Now let’s get those pants off.”

When Dylan was undressed and sat back down, Tanner handed him the bottle and laid down across his lap, facing the front so his ass would be at the right angle for Dylan’s right hand. “I’d like you to do the honors.”

Dylan opened the bottle, slicked a finger and tentatively worked his way into Tanner’s hole.

“Feels good so far babe, keep going.” Tanner could feel Dylan’s dick at his hip as his rested on Dylan’s legs, and that felt good too. Dylan continued loosening up Tanner until he announced he was ready.

“You sure?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Tanner got up and returned to his earlier position, straddling Dylan’s lap. They made out for a minute until Tanner felt Dylan harden against his ass cheeks. Dylan reached for the lube again and coated his dick with it, then made a final pass in Tanner’s hole. He lined up and poked at it as Tanner sat down on Dylan’s dick, gradually sinking onto his lap. The position allowed Tanner to take control, which suited Dylan fine.

“You’re doing great babe,” Tanner encouraged. “You feel really good inside me.” Tanner slowly gyrated on Dylan, eventually picking up the pace. After a while, he decided to change position.  He stood up and pulled Dylan up, then bent over onto the seat.

“OK, now I want you to _really_ fuck me.”

 _Tanner sure is full of surprises_. Dylan got back inside and went to work, thrusting into Tanner’s tight hole. Dylan could only last a few minutes and soon shot his first load into Tanner’s ass. He pulled out and Tanner turned around to kiss him.

“Really good babe. I’m impressed you lasted so long your first time.”

They sat back down, Tanner careful to sit on Dylan so he wouldn’t leak anything onto the seat. They started making out. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll do it again someday. I might need something to bargain with if I ever want another semi-public blowjob,” Tanner smirked. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you do that every time.”

Tanner turned around and sat back against Dylan, letting Dylan cuddle him. After enjoying some alone time, Tanner suggested they get a shower before the others got back. He led Dylan back to the tiny RV shower where they washed each other. When they got out of the shower and dressed, Tanner unlocked the doors.

“Have I told you lately what a terrific boyfriend you are?”

Dylan smiled. “I could say the same.” He picked his laptop up from the floor and sat down.

“I’ll let you finish your test.”

 

* * *

 

“So that’s your deep dark secret?” Mike said.

“Obviously I can’t have it getting out that I bottomed once, or that I’m seriously thinking about doing it again soon — possibly later today.”

“Is that so?” Dylan inquired.

“Depends on if I can tear it away from my mouth for long enough.”

“You’ve really taken to dick suddenly,” Mike observed. “I’m surprised that RV experience didn’t change things. You went back to the foot thing after that?”

“Well I started using my hand more often, but yeah. I guess I was working my way up, where on my body I was willing to touch it. Like I said, safe distance. I also tried letting Dylan grind against my legs a couple of times. I was trying to get used to it without letting it get near my mouth, for reasons that are now completely mysterious to me. I’m so glad that part of my life is over.”

Mike laughed. 

“Just telling that story was kind of arousing. I think I need to make a trip to the backseat.”

“Oh god,” Dylan said as Tanner got out and slid in beside him. “Here we go again.”

“No pressure whatsoever,” Tanner said. “We can just sit here and hold hands if you want. I _am_ capable of waiting until we get home. But my shorts are probably coming off, and what you do with that is entirely up to you.” Tanner kicked off his pink crocs and hung the shirt he hadn’t been wearing in the window as a curtain. “If you take your shirt off, we could have one on the other side.”

“Do you see how he’s already trying to undress me?” Dylan commented to Mike.

“I could give you my shorts if you’d rather not,” Tanner offered.

“I think hanging those in the window might actually draw more attention to the car.”

“He has a point,” Mike agreed. “Here, take my shirt.” Mike pulled it off and handed it to Dylan to hang in the back window.

“Finally!” Tanner slid off his shorts and underwear, which he felt obliged to wear to a business meeting. “Here,” offering Dylan his hand. Dylan smiled and accepted it.

Mike looked back and saw the two holding hands, Dylan fully clothed and Tanner completely naked with a hefty semi in his lap. “I can totally see how you guys are too much alike to ever work as a couple,” he joked.

“Maybe not my most believable lie,” Tanner said. “You try coming up with a reason to tell our fans why we shouldn’t be together!”

“It’s hard to deny something that’s meant to be.”

“And it keeps getting harder. That was almost a year ago. Do you have any idea how many times since then I’ve realized he’s even more perfect for me than I thought?”

“I think we covered most of them, but I lost count.”

“Not even close. I’ve lost track of how many times it’s happened today.”

Dylan smiled. “I’ve always known he’s perfect, but I have to agree it’s getting better.”

“Does it ever bother that you he, uh, doesn’t wear clothes?”

“No-o,” stretching it out to two syllables. “I never get tired of seeing Tanner naked. And he mostly keeps it to appropriate places.”

“And the other times?”

“It’s actually fun sometimes getting dragged out of my comfort zone. A few days ago he got me to go tanning naked in the backyard.”

“That was nice,” Tanner said, starting to bone up.

“Just tanning?”

“Yeah, separate chairs.”

“Unfortunately,” Tanner said. “You have no idea how much I wanted to do more.”

“I think we all have pretty good idea from that boner you got there.”

Mike looked over his shoulder. “Well if it isn’t Big Tanner, this friend I’ve hearing so much about. I had a feeling I was going to meet him today.” Mike concealed his interest, but at that moment he could no longer remember why he thought he was straight — or used to, rather. “I can see why you’re so proud. You should be.” _Fuck. I want that in me_.

“Thanks.”

“Besides,” Dylan added, “showing off his body, it’s part of who he is. And I love everything about him.”

Still holding Tanner’s hand, Dylan reached over and brushed his arm against Tanner’s dick, then moved it back into place. Every 30 seconds Dylan repeated the action, each time Tanner throbbing in response.

“Story time over?”

“I think so, but don’t feel like you’re interrupting anything if you want to keep talking.”

“We have some time before we get back. Wanna play Fuck, Marry, Kill?”

“OK.”

“OK, well I got one for you: Kate Upton, Brent Rivera, Dylan Mitchell.”

“Oh god you’re awful! Man that’s rough. Marry Dylan obviously, lest there be any doubt about where the difficulty lies. Hmmm. A month ago I think my answer would have been different, but Brent’s our neighbor now, and he’s going to be in a video soon and maybe more later. He’s a nice guy, I’m not going to kill him.”

“So you’re killing Kate?”

“She still doesn’t know I exist, so I already got used to living without her. And I took all my posters down a while ago so Dylan wouldn’t have to see them.”

“That was for me? I thought you were trying to be family-friendly.”

“That’s what I said, but has my channel gotten any family-friendlier since then?”

“I guess not.”

“OK, Dylan’s up: Tanner Braungardt, Blake Gray, Brent Rivera.”

“Oh come on! That’s too easy,” Tanner complained.

“Hmmm.” Dylan said, pretending he had something to think about. “I’m going to fuck Blake, marry Tanner and kill our nice neighbor before he tries to steal my boyfriend.”

“You’re getting payback for both of those: Me, Dylan and Jewel.”

“You’re gonna make me kill my girlfriend? Fine. From everything I’ve heard, Dylan is better husband material and Tanner is a hotter fuck.”

“Good choices. I guess you redeemed yourself.” As the game went on, Dylan continued giving Tanner periodic stimulation. 

Mike gave Tanner his next question: “Quentin McConathy, Paris Anderson, Mike Hammontree.”

“I’m gonna marry Quentin, fuck you and kill Paris — not that there’s any hard feelings. I don't want to have to go back to editing videos myself.”

 _I'll take it_. “Dylan: Zac Efron in 2007, Drake Bell in 2007, Justin Bieber in 2012.”

“That’s a tossup. Marry Drake and I guess I fuck Zac, so I have to kill Justin.”

Tanner disagreed. “Personally, I think whenever ‘fuck Justin Bieber’ is one of the choices, it’s always correct to choose it.”

“Here’s your chance. Cameron Dallas, Justin Bieber and the Dolan twins.”

“I see what you’re doing. You think you can tempt me with a threesome. But I don’t think I’m into that any more than Dylan is. As much as I like being watched sometimes, I’m not looking to involve anyone else.”

Mike tried not to show how deflated he was. _There goes my chance. He’s never going to cheat on Dylan_.

“Still, this is a hard one since I’m friends with three of them. I guess it’s fuck Justin, marry Cam, kill the Dolans, but I’d rather it be fuck Justin, fuck Cameron, fuck Grayson, fuck Ethan.”

“Add them to my kill list, please,” Dylan said. He moved his arm like he was going to brush Tanner’s dick again but stopped short and moved back into place. Tanner throbbed anyway.

“Babe, I don’t know what you think you need to worry about. If it could detach from my body and live with you permanently, it would. All of those guys are hot, but none of them have anything on you.” He squeezed Dylan’s hand.

“Love you too.”

Mike decided to let the game drop. Left to silence, Dylan went back to playing with Tanner’s dick, starting to escalate. He bent down to give it a quick lick, then pulled back as before. Tanner was glad to see Mike noticed without him having to say anything to draw attention to Dylan.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think you’ve been sleeping in your room long enough. I want you to move back in with me starting tonight.”

Dylan smiled and gave Tanner another lick.

“Plus we’re going to have some long-term visitors soon. Having your bed open will make more room for everyone.”

“Sounds good.”

Minutes went by with Dylan continuing the periodic licks until he moved to something else: Putting his mouth on it and going all the way down. Sometimes coming up quickly, sometimes lingering a bit before taking the breaks that were keeping Tanner in suspense.

“You’re getting less shy babe. I love that you feel comfortable doing this in the car without us being alone.”

“It’s just Mike. It doesn’t feel like other people when it’s just him.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Mike said.

Tanner was glad they’d already filmed a video the day before that Mike would be editing and posting tomorrow. The slow-motion blowjob continued until they got home.

“Ugh, do I have to get dressed for this? I’m kinda tempted to walk into the house naked with Dylan’s slobber all over me and just race upstairs.”

Mike shrugged. “It’s your house.”

“Maybe you could scout ahead for us, make sure the other guys are out of sight.”

“I can do that.” Mike got out of the car and went into the house.

“You know, even though I’ve already busted twice today, I think I’m gonna have a pretty big load for you here in a bit.”

Dylan smiled. “I know. That was my plan.”


	8. Chapter 8

[April 11, 2018; Huntington Beach]

The next day, Tanner got a call from Zech, his business partner in Dibs Clothing.

“Are you home?”

“Yeah, we’re not really doing anything.”

“Good. I have some things I need to take care of, and my babysitter just canceled. Can you and Dylan watch Saxon for me? It should only be a couple hours or so.”

“Sure, we can do that.”

“I’ll be right over.”

Tanner gave Dylan the news. “Hey Dylan, we’re gonna be babysitting.”

“Oh joy.”

“It’s Saxon. Time for ‘Life of a Teenage Dad’ — or should it be ‘Dads’ now?”

“I guess so.” Dylan was glad he couldn’t get pregnant. He never understood Tanner’s hurry to have kids when they could have more time to be kids themselves instead. “Zech knows I’m not that responsible, right?”

“I think he’s desperate. We’ll be fine. It’ll be fun.”

“I’m sure it will.”

Soon Zech arrived and dropped Saxon off.

As the afternoon progressed, Tanner was impressed with how good Dylan was with kids. Having so many siblings must have helped.

Naturally they decided to teach Saxon how to flip. They practiced tossing him over on the air mattress in Quentin’s room and decided they would show Zech when he got back. Mike filmed it and beckoned for Tanner to take a look at the clip.

“That’s so cute. If we don’t use that in one of the next videos, let’s put it on my Instagram while I’m in Portland. Look, Dylan. You’re really cute in this. Such a hot dad.”

Dylan watched the clip. “Aww, you too.”

“Seeing this side of you really turns me on. You know, we could leave Saxon with Mike and sneak off to our room.”

“Tempting as that is, Zech asked _us_ to watch him. He barely knows Mike.”

“But Mike is more responsible than us. You said so yourself.”

“True, but he’s still our responsibility. Besides, you’re the one who’s in a hurry to have kids. It’s only been an hour. You can’t just drop your kid somewhere every time you want to do something else. I don’t think that’s what being a parent is like.”

“It is when you can afford a nanny.”

Dylan was unimpressed. “Is that the kind of parent you want to be? I want better. Look, if it’s that urgent, I can watch Saxon while you go take care of it.” He put his arms around Saxon.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I want better for our kids too.” Tanner was again struck by Dylan’s example. “Dylan, do you realize what just happened? That was the first time you stood up to me, and it was to protect our future kids. You’re gonna be such a great dad.”

Dylan smiled. “Huh, I guess it was.”

“I’m so glad they’re going to have you. I can’t imagine having them with anyone else. There’s just one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you even more now. But I can definitely wait. We’ve got a job to do.” Tanner picked up Saxon and gave him a spin. “And we’re gonna have a great time doing it!”

 

Later, after Zech picked up Saxon and Tristan had arrived for a surprise visit, Tanner realized he should film a video for Friday. They hadn’t played hide and seek in the California house yet, and it would take a long time for Mike to edit that with as many cameras as they would use, so it would be best to give him a whole day.

They gathered outside that night and Tanner was selected to be ‘it’ first. Dylan got found next to last on the first round, hiding on the roof, and last the next two, under Mike’s bed and in the closet under the stairs.

“I’m really proud of you for winning the game, babe,” Tanner said.

“What do I get for winning?”

Tanner saw an opportunity to reference the hard drive of stupidity: “Whoever wins gets fucked!” he announced.

Quentin groaned. “This is why I never put much effort into picking hiding places.”

“Good to know,” said Logan.

“I think Mike and I are glad we were both ‘it’ once now,” Tristan said. 

_That’s what you think_. Mike nodded a pretend agreement. _I would have tried so much harder_.

Dylan smiled sheepishly. “It sounds like a good prize to me.”

 

 

A few days later Tanner left for a short trip to Portland to see an alternative doctor. When he returned a couple days later, he had two pieces of news. First, he was giving up gluten and some other foods along with continuing to eat all organic. And second, he was going back to daily videos.

Dylan wasn’t too happy about that, knowing that had put a strain on his relationship with Tanner in the past. “You just said a week ago that was the biggest reason for the problems we had.”

“Maybe it’ll be different now that I have Mike,” Tanner explained. “The fans won’t let it drop. There’s enough of them who want it even if they’re terrible and I’m miserable that I at least have to try it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I won’t let it affect us the way it did before. If it does, I’ll call it off. But my health was a part of that too, and I think we finally solved that. I feel like I’m ready for this. And I want to see you start making more videos too. You’re so close, it won’t be much longer now.”

“It feels like I’ve been stuck on 99,000 forever.”

“It would have happened a long time ago if you let me help you. But I’m glad you’ll have something to be proud of when it happens. I’m proud of you already.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m actually jealous. You’ll get your 100,000 subscriber plaque before I do.”

Dylan laughed. “I bet you’ll get to 4 million first.”

“We’ll see. They’ll probably be pretty close, maybe even the same day. It would be cool to share that with you, but I don’t want my celebration to overshadow yours.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“You never do. You’re so easygoing. You really balance me out.” They hugged. “The guys will be here soon.”

“Looking forward to it. I haven’t seen them since the tour.”

 

* * *

 

[one month earlier; Boston]

“Really?” Dylan was surprised the guys wanted to go to a jewelry store.

“We made a lot of money on this tour,” Shark explained, “and you were part of that. It’s nice to have something shiny and expensive to show for it.”

“It is a lot, and if I was going to keep doing it for most of the year like you guys, I guess I could see that. But it’s not very often I have paydays like this, and I don’t think my family would be too impressed if I spent it all in one place.”

“Well you don’t have to buy anything, but at least try some things on with us. It’ll make a cool Instagram picture.”

“I guess.”

“I know — Kansas, simple tastes. But you’re going to be moving to Cali soon. It’s different there, you’ll see.”

 

* * *

 

[April 20; Huntington Beach]

Later that week, Tanner and Dylan were filming a video at the house with the guys from the tour. They started out on the trampoline, taking turns doing flips. A while later, Shark took off to run an errand and left the other guys behind. They brainstormed ideas for what else to do in the video. The guests had a lot of athletic ability beyond flipping they could show off. They settled on a handstand contest. 

“Who can hold the longest handstand?” Tanner asked. Bailey, Solomon and Z all raised their hands. “My money’s on Z.” 

They found a spot on the patio to hold the contest. 

“I will compete in this, but there’s no chance of me winning, especially not in the morning. My longest handstand is like two minutes.” He knew Bailey, Z and Solomon could all go much longer, but also that his viewers wouldn’t be interested unless he was in it.

Just before the contest started, Tanner returned with one more announcement for the camera: “Dylan is doing this so I’m not last place.”

When they started, Dylan fell within a second. He tried again, making it maybe a full second before he fell again.

When editing, Mike decided to cut from there to just a few seconds before Tanner fell. Forty-five seconds of four guys maintaining handstands turned out not to be the most compelling video, let alone the full length the other guys could go. 

When Dylan walked by, Mike called him over.

“Hey Dylan, I want to show you something. Are you OK with this?” He played the clip.

“I told him to say that,” Dylan explained. “Obviously I didn’t have any business competing with those guys, and since he said he knew he couldn’t win, I didn’t want it to seem like I thought there was a chance I could. I was only doing it because he asked me to.”

“Wow, it’s really touching. The things you do for him sometimes.” _I should tell him_.

“Yeah, making Tanner look good is probably my job as much as it is yours.”

“I guess you could say that.” _Or should I? Maybe these feelings will go away_.

“The thing is, he doesn’t really need me for that. He’s perfect. I don’t think anyone can make him look better than he already does. But if he thinks it helps to have me around, I’m happy to play along.”

“You know he needs you for a lot more than an ego boost.” 

“Oh yeah, I was just talking about the video. By the way, how did the trampoline edit turn out? How did I look in that?”

“That’s the other thing I have to tell you. We didn’t use any of your flips. Tanner didn’t like his own much better compared to the other guys’ either and didn’t want to take any more away from them than necessary to please his fans.” Mike could see Dylan was disappointed. “But if you want, I have all of them and I could help you make an edit to put in your own video.”

“That’s OK. If my flips aren’t any good, I guess you shouldn’t bother.”

 

The next day, Dylan hid in the back when they were filming the Q&A portion of the following video with the roommates and Tanner Fox. When the question of who was Tanner’s favorite in the house came up, Dylan knew Tanner wouldn’t pick him, because of course he had to hide how close they were, but it still hurt. And Dylan Hawk complaining about Dylan eating his Pop-Tarts didn’t help either.

Tanner sensed Dylan was down and went to work making him feel better. 

“You know there’s no question who my favorite is, right? It’s not even close.” He kissed the taller boy. “You don’t seem sure. I think I’m gonna need to make out with my favorite roommate until he knows it.”

“Do you want me to get Mike?” Dylan joked. “Or is it Logan? Maybe Quentin.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

They made out, made love and held each other until they fell asleep. The next morning, Dylan was in better spirits, especially after they exchanged morning blowjobs.

“I missed you that night you spent on the roof. Are you almost done with that video?”

Dylan nodded. “It’s done, I just have to upload. It’s going up today.”

“I can’t wait to see it. It was a good idea, and you’ve gotten so much better.”

“Thanks. So what are we doing for your video today?”

“I’m not sure. We’ll figure it out later, but I want to spend some time with you today. We have a head start with that ocean scene we filmed yesterday.”

“That was so cold.”

“I know, it’s hard being an Ocean Man, but we had to. Let’s go down and get breakfast. Oh, and eat anything you want. All the guys have my Venmo, they can charge me by the Pop-Tart if necessary.”

 

Later that night the roommates gathered again for a group video, this time around the backyard firepit for “Never Have I Ever.”

“No hiding in the back this time,” Tanner warned Dylan. “I want you next to me.” They took their seats together on the end where they’d be closest to the camera. Tanner announced they’d settled on the Ocean Men as a group name. When everyone was ready, they realized they didn’t have any questions, so Dylan Hawk tweeted out a call. 

Quentin read the first question: “Never have I ever dreamt about a friend’s girlfriend.”

Tanner, Quentin and Mike showed red screens for no, while Dylan, Logan and Dylan Hawk showed green for yes.

“I really, really don’t think I have,” Tanner explained. “Whenever my buddy is dating a girl, I just don’t — I think of her as a boy.”

Tanner was not prepared for the looks of shock and bewilderment from his friends.

“How would that possibly make a difference?” Dylan Hawk asked.

“Unless that makes you want her more,” Quentin suggested.

“Guys. Video. Acting,” Tanner reprimanded. “Can you at least try to pretend you think I’m straight?”

“That is kind of a stretch,” Quentin said. “Please don’t think of my girlfriend as a boy. I know you like girls too, but I’ll take my chances.”

“I don’t. I was just trying to make a point.”

“I think the real question is how come Dylan said yes,” Logan pointed out.

“That is a good question,” Tanner agreed.

“Back when you were with Paris, I had nightmares that I was going to lose you,” Dylan explained. “That counts as a dream, right?”

“Aww babe, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to hold you and tell you that’s never going to happen.”

Eventually the conversation drifted back to a place where Mike would be able to cut back in, and Tanner called for another question.

Later, a Fortnite question led to the discussion running off the rails again.

“We’ve got to focus,” Tanner advised. “Smell the ocean breeze. I smell the ocean breeze.” He lifted up Dylan’s arm and sniffed his armpit in an effort to get everyone’s attention that at first only Mike noticed. But they got back on track with a question about getting arrested.

When they were getting ready to wrap it up, Tanner noticed Dylan looked eager to ask something. “One more,” he said.

“I got one: Never have I ever kissed a guy.”

“Actually you have,” Quentin said.

Dylan proudly held up his green screen along with Dylan Hawk, while Quentin, Logan and Mike showed red. Everyone knew what color Tanner’s should be.

Tanner ran through the list of guys he’d kissed on video, starting with Quentin. He tried to avoid mentioning Dylan, but Quentin wasn’t having it, and prompted Tanner to discuss it, which made Dylan smile. Tanner offered a quick explanation. “I’ve also kissed Dylan on accident in the pool. If you guys haven’t heard that story, we’ll catch you next week — or tomorrow!”

 

 

[April 23]

In the morning when Dylan came down to get some Pop-Tarts for breakfast, he found Mike working on the video.

“You seemed pretty eager to get the kissing boys question on the table last night.”

Dylan smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I also noticed that visual metaphor you did with the closet in your video last week. Are you getting closer to coming out?”

“Well, I think I’ve given enough hints that people can figure it out. But if I get asked directly, I’ll either ignore the question or lie, for Tanner’s sake.”

“So no change then. So what was last night about?”

“Well, when I saw that tweet, it seemed like a safe way to talk about Tanner and me without admitting to anything more than our fans already know. I was glad Quentin brought that up.”

“I saw you smiling. It’s nice to see that. You seemed proud.”

“I am. I’m dating the hottest boy in the universe, so if any gay person has something to be proud of, I think I do.”

“I’m sure they’d all be jealous if they knew.”

Dylan’s Pop-Tarts popped. “Well at least the ones who watch know that we’ve kissed.” He wrapped them in a paper towel and headed back upstairs. Tanner was calling for him.

“Babe, look. Any minute now.” They had been monitoring Dylan’s subscriber count. Dylan sat down on the bed to watch. 

Just after 10 a.m., he hit 100,000. They cheered. Still naked, Tanner wrapped his arms around Dylan and leaned over to kiss him. “I’m so proud of you babe!”

Hearing the noise, Mike raced up the stairs. He came in and saw the screen. “Congrats man!”

“Thanks.”

“How are you going to celebrate?”

“I don’t know.”

“I know how _I_ want to celebrate,” Tanner said lustily.

“OK then, I think I’ll get back to editing.” Enjoying a sideways glance at Tanner’s dick on the way out, Mike left them alone.

“And what do you have in mind?”

“Well, this might be more of a treat for me than you, I’m not sure if you’ll be up for it. I wanna blow you in the backyard.”

“Hmmm.”

“So far all my fantasies of doing stuff either in front of other people or where we might get caught have been about me wanting to show off how much of a man I am. And I always feel like one when I’m with you, no matter what we’re doing. But right now I really want to show off how much of a man my boyfriend is.”

“Interesting.”

“And there wouldn’t necessarily be anyone watching, our yard is pretty private. You know I’ve wanted to do something there since the day we were tanning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’ll let you pick out the spot, and I won’t make you get naked. You can have your pants ready to pull up quickly if you need to.”

Dylan rocked his head thinking about it, and Tanner could see he was warming up to the idea.

“And if we go now, Quentin will sleep through it.”

Dylan smiled. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look around and see if there’s a spot that doesn’t seem horrible.”

Tanner kissed Dylan. “I love how open to adventure you are — with me anyway. And I promise, I’ll get you a real gift, something you actually want.”

“This certainly wouldn’t have occurred to me. But I enjoy seeing how much you want it.”

“I do! I can’t wait to feel the sun on my back, the breeze on my body and your dick in my mouth.”

After Tanner got partially dressed, he and Dylan made their way downstairs. They held hands as they walked toward the back door, Tanner flashing a devilish grin at Mike as they passed. 

Dylan surveyed the yard. Eventually he found a spot that would satisfy both of them. He led Tanner over to the dollhouse and stood in the doorway. “What about right here?”

“That’s perfect! You can pull the chair out and sit halfway in so you feel like you’re inside. And I can be out in the open! Plus they built this out of such a soft wood, it’s much better than the concrete for my knees. I’m still gonna get a cushion, though.”

Tanner raced inside to find one, taking the opportunity to fill in Mike on what was happening, and asked him to let Logan and Dom know, but not Quentin or Dylan Hawk. When Tanner returned, he set the cushion down at the top of the steps and went inside, closing the door behind him. Dylan was too tall to stand normally in the dollhouse but positioned himself against the side wall, the most hidden part of the small structure.

“I know it’ll make it easier for you to get started in here.” Tanner stripped and stood back, giving Dylan a minute to admire his body. Then he closed the space between them, kissed and began to make out, rubbing his hand over the front of Dylan’s sweatpants. 

Tanner felt a bulge starting to grow and kept working it. He stopped to pull Dylan’s shirt off and then went back to it. Meanwhile Tanner had gotten completely hard himself, and stepped back again to give Dylan some eye candy. When he stepped forward he slipped his hand under Dylan’s waistband and gently brushed his thumb back and forth across his quarry.

“Are you ready for me to slide these down?”

He looked up to see Dylan assent. Tanner pulled down Dylan’s sweats and underwear halfway to his knees and knelt down in front of him. He took it in his mouth and gently started to suck. When he noticed Dylan starting to precum, he grabbed the dick and brushed it across his face, smearing his cheeks. Tanner’s dick was leaking too, and he dripped some onto Dylan’s feet.

“Are you ready to move out there?”

Tanner picked up the chair and moved it to the center of the room, leaving enough room to walk around it. He stood in the doorway and then backed out as Dylan got in front of the chair and pulled it into the doorway, positioning it so that his upper body would be inside the structure. Dylan sat down as Tanner stood in front of him, blocking the view of Dylan from outside.

Tanner spun around to take in the sunlight on his body and gave his cock a few strokes while Dylan admired his ass. When he turned around again, Dylan could see how happy Tanner was enjoying the outdoors, which brought a smile to his face as well. Dylan might never understand why Tanner was so into this type of thing, but seeing how excited Tanner was by it, that was enough to overcome Dylan’s aversion to being exposed.

Tanner knelt down on the cushion and got back to work sucking dick. He felt a breeze tickle his balls. 

Soon Mike dutifully ventured into the yard, taking care not to make any noise and to stay outside Dylan’s field of view. He found a spot near the trampoline where he could see Tanner and Tanner would be able to see him. Mike could tell Tanner was enjoying himself, both from the intense focus he gave to Dylan’s dick and from the heft protruding from between Tanner’s legs. _There it is!_ Unsurprisingly he couldn’t hear any sounds from Dylan, reluctant to draw attention to himself.

A couple minutes later Dom emerged from the house. When Mike saw him, he put his finger to his lips for quiet and beckoned him over. Dom joined Mike on the side of the trampoline and watched Tanner blowing Dylan. Logan had said once on the RV was enough for him.

Tanner was pleased to notice his two onlookers, which motivated him to amp the intensity of his sucking. Soon he earned Dylan’s load. Careful that Dylan wouldn’t notice, Tanner flashed a cum-soaked smile to Mike and Dom.

As Tanner stood up, he gestured for them to move to the right, even with the side of the dollhouse. He bent down to kiss Dylan. “Thanks for coming out here with me. It was exactly what I wanted.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“You know, since you picked such a good spot, I think I have another idea you might like.”

“What’s that?”

“We could turn this chair around. I can give you some of this,” pointing to his dick, “you can stay in there and I can lean out here.”

“I think I can handle that,” Dylan said with a grin.

Dylan slid the chair back into the little room, stood up and pulled his pants up. Tanner tossed the cushion inside, came in to get the chair and placed it back in the doorway, this time facing inside. He sat down and spread his legs. Dylan picked up the cushion and placed it in front of Tanner’s feet, then knelt down.

Dylan loved everything about Tanner’s equipment. The size, the smell, the taste. All of it was so enticing. Seeing Tanner’s sexy body stretched out, looking up at his gorgeous face just made it better. It was a little weird, Dylan thought, that they were in the dollhouse, but there wasn’t a question in his mind that he wanted it. He licked his lips and dove in, completely oblivious to Mike and Dom, whom Tanner had positioned outside his peripheral vision.

Tanner started to moan and noticed Dylan looking up at him. “I doubt anyone can hear me inside. If it seems like they did, I’ll be happy to say I was jerking off in the dollhouse while you were sleeping. No one would put it past me.”

Dylan gave a bit of a laugh and went back down on Tanner. Tanner ran his fingers through Dylan’s soft hair, which made Dylan feel loved and appreciated. He forgot about the noise as Tanner consumed his attention.

After a few minutes, Tanner decided he better shoo his audience away before he finished. He waved his arm toward the house and leaned forward to block the view. When the coast was clear, he leaned back again and put his hands back in Dylan’s hair. A beam of sunlight warmed his chest. “Oh babe, this is so great, it feels so good to be out here.”

Dylan felt like his whole world was there in front of him and in his mouth. It didn’t matter where they were, because nothing beyond Tanner needed to exist. It felt good to hear how much Tanner was enjoying it. He could tell Tanner was getting close and went faster. Tanner filled Dylan’s mouth with his favorite treat. As usual, Dylan slowed down but kept going until Tanner told him to stop.

Dylan backed up and Tanner scooched the chair forward and shut the door. He moved the chair back into its regular spot, and without bothering to put any clothes, sat down on the floor with Dylan, leaning against the wall, and held his hand.

“I love you so much babe. Congrats on 100,000.”

“I love you too.”

“Before we talk about what you want for your real gift, there’s something I gotta be honest with you about.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Before we talk about what you want for your real gift, there’s something I gotta be honest with you about.”

Dylan looked at Tanner as they sat on the floor of the dollhouse.

“Do you wanna hold my dick while we talk? Here, we can hold hands with our other hands.” Tanner reached over to grab Dylan’s left hand while Dylan slid his right hand into Tanner’s groin. “Yeah, just gently support it, keep it off the floor. It feels good to you even soft, doesn’t it?”

Dylan nodded.

“So while we were out here, Mike and Dom came out and watched us for a little bit. I tried to make sure you didn’t notice while they were there, because I thought you’d be more comfortable not knowing, but I didn’t want to hide it from you. Is that OK?”

“I knew there was a chance that might happen when we came out here. It’s what you hoped for.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t just coincidence. I told Mike when I went inside. And I guess my question is, if anything like this happens again, do you want to know about it before, after, or not at all?”

“Well, um, I think you’re right — I was more comfortable not knowing. I mean, I knew we were in a place where people might see us and I was OK with that, but I think it was easier for me to enjoy it thinking we were alone, as far as I knew. … But I don’t think it’s a good idea to have secrets like that either. So I guess after — as long as you’re 100% sure I’m completely cool with the people you’re inviting. If there’s any doubt about that, you should definitely ask me first.”

“That sounds fair. So I made the right choice?”

“Well, not telling anyone would have been OK too, but yeah. Mike and Dom are cool.”

“Good. I figured you’ve done stuff in front of Mike and Logan before, and I know you’re close to Dom. And I figured the two people most likely to give you shit about it were Dylan Hawk and Quentin. I don’t think they would have come anyway, but I told Mike not to tell them.”

“Good call.”

“And if anyone does say anything, the walk to Kansas rule still applies.”

Dylan let out a small laugh.

“Brent’s coming over tomorrow for that video. You’re welcome to be there, but I don’t want to burden your acting skills. If you feel like you’re going to want to glare daggers at either of us, it might be best if you were doing that from another room.”

“I think you’re right. I think I’d rather avoid him.”

“You know, last night, what you said about nightmares, I wanted to let you know you’re not the only one. I had dreams about losing you too.”

“You did?”

“That time at the cabin in Missouri. I was afraid Paris would see how great you and I were together and make me choose. And I knew I’d pick wrong.”

 

* * *

 

[May 2017; Golden, Missouri]

“I’m so glad both of you are here. You’re sure this isn’t weird for either of you?” Tanner was driving Paris and Dylan to the lake in his Challenger to Table Rock Lake. Kim had taken Taylor and Tristan the day before.

Paris shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine, relax.”

“I’m happy to be here,” Dylan said from the backseat. 

“Great. Hanging out with my two favorite people at the same time is kinda new to me. … ‘Well Tanner, you’re a hot guy with a beautiful girlfriend and a super-cute boy on the side, and you’ve managed to get both of them to go away with you for the holiday weekend. You must be living the dream.’ ‘That’s right, Chuck, and ya know what else I have? A huge dick both of them are quite fond of.’”

They laughed.

“Finding two people willing to put up with your bullshit, you sure hit the jackpot,” Paris said.

“That’s the truth, I did.”

“So Dylan, how long do you suppose it will be before he asks us for a threesome?”

Dylan gave a deer-in-the-headlights look.

“Probably never,” Tanner said. “I don’t know how you’d feel, but I don’t think Dylan would be comfortable with that, and once I started worrying about it, I don’t think I’d be any good to either of you.”

Dylan sighed with relief, Paris nervously. “Probably for the best,” she said. _Since when does he care how Dylan feels?_

“I’m in my prime, I recover quickly, so one at a time should work just fine.”

 

Soon after they arrived at the “cabin” – a large house Tanner rented – they made their way out to the cliffs. They had just gotten to the spot they were going to jump from when Dylan’s knee started to hurt. 

Without pausing for thought, Tanner dropped down, quickly examined and kissed it. He noticed Paris looking curiously. “I always kiss his boo-boos.”

“I’m very prone to injuries,” Dylan joked nervously. “He’s saved me numerous hospital trips.”

“Take two kisses and call me in the morning,” Tanner joked, giving Dylan’s knee a second kiss.

After determining Dylan would be OK left behind, Tanner filmed an explanation of Dylan’s status and proceeded to jump with Paris. Dylan waited a bit, then jumped with his good leg. They did a few more jumps and then stayed in the water and on a boat for a while until it started to rain.

Back at the cabin, Tanner’s family had claimed the three bedrooms, leaving the other trio to occupy the large living area with three couches. Tanner realized the lack of privacy would be a constraint for both Paris and Dylan, which his mom must have intended.

 

During the night, Tanner woke up in a panic. Dylan and Paris both rushed to him, but Paris glared at Dylan to stay back, and got there first, claiming this as girlfriend territory. She tried to calm Tanner, but it wasn’t working. As his anxiety worsened, the noise woke up Kim, who came out to check on them.

“What should I do?” Paris asked.

Kim surveyed the situation and saw Dylan standing helplessly by. “I think you should get out of the way and let Dylan try.”

Paris didn’t like that answer but reluctantly backed off. Dylan sat down on the couch where Tanner had been sleeping and put his arms around him, producing almost instant success. Paris’s mouth dropped open. Dylan picked up Tanner and maneuvered him into his lap and cradled him.

“I know how it feels,” Kim told Paris. “How do you think I felt the first time I realized the only thing I could do for my little boy was drive to Dylan’s house in the middle of the night and try to explain to his mother the concept of an emergency sleepover? He was 8. But once I knew, I didn’t hesitate to give him what he needed.”

“Is Tanner gay? Is he just saying he’s bi ’cause he doesn’t want to admit it?”

“I don’t know, honey. I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t have any reason to doubt him. But sometimes he needs Dylan. We don’t really question that. … My advice: Be careful about trying to come between them.”

Dylan interrupted. “Can I get some help here?” Tanner was sleeping like a baby in Dylan’s arms with his face nuzzled against Dylan’s neck. Well, a baby with a rather large erection no one could see, and Dylan wanted to keep it that way. Dylan knew it was an involuntary reaction to being in a deep sleep, but explaining that to Paris wasn’t likely to go over well.

Kim grabbed Dylan’s pillow off of his couch and moved it to Tanner’s, and suspecting the problem, spread a blanket over them as Dylan maneuvered himself and Tanner lying down. She mouthed a thank you to Dylan and gave Paris a hug before returning to bed.

 

* * *

 

“You know I haven’t been like that over a dream in years. But when I woke up and saw her blocking you from me — the exact thing I was dreaming about — that’s why it was so bad,” Tanner explained. “It’s like there was this part of me that’s always known and been trying to tell me I needed you. But I’m pretty hard-headed, and not even part of me could get through to me. Losing you is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.”

“You won’t. I feel the same way about losing you.”

“I know. … So, getting back to your celebration, I wanna do something special for you. What do you want?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only asked you for a couple things — one, our relationship, I got, and it’s amazing, and the other, I don’t think is gonna happen.”

“Prom? It’s this weekend, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Look, when I said I’d go, I assumed we’d still be living in Kansas. That we could go with a group of friends without raising any suspicion.”

“I know.”

“But now? For us to make a special trip halfway across the country to go to a dance at a school neither of us goes to when almost everyone who would have been in our group has moved out of state? I don’t think there’s a heterosexual explanation for that.”

“We could say we promised Clay we’d go with him.” Dylan could see Tanner wasn’t buying it. “You’re right, there’s not. I gave up on heterosexual explanations a while ago.”

“If it’s the only thing I can do that will make you happy, tell me and I’ll book a flight right now. But if you trust me, I think I can plan something here you’ll like just as much. I did promise you a real date, and I want to give you that.”

“I do. That sounds great, I’ve wanted that for a long time.”

“OK, well prepare to go all out. I’ll get a reservation at a nice restaurant Saturday and have a limo pick us up.”

“What are we going to wear?”

“What would say if I told you I already booked us for a fitting at a formalwear shop later today?”

“You’re a mind reader.”

Tanner laughed. “You asked me last summer, I’ve had plenty of time to plan. I knew when we moved you were going to be upset about missing it, so I was always planning to take you out this weekend.”

Dylan smiled. “After all this time. Our first date.”

“I can’t wait. We better get ready for our appointment.” 

Tanner got dressed, Dylan put his shirt on, and they headed back to the house.

 

The tailor measured Tanner and Dylan.

“He’s really tall and really skinny for his height,” Tanner said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, pants don’t really fit me well. Anything long enough tends to be baggy.”

“That’s OK, we can make alterations. We’ll get you something that fits.”

“He’ll be pretty easy about style, though,” Tanner said. “He likes classic, traditional. I like bright colors. And pink. Do you have anything in pink?”

“That depends. How much pink are you looking for?”

“All of it, if I can get it.”

“I can definitely get you a pink cummerbund, a pink shirt and tie. But I think we’d need more than a week’s notice to track down a full pink suit in your size.”

“That’s OK. If I can’t have everything pink, I think I want to mix it up with some more colors. What about clickbait?”

The tailor looked puzzled.

“That means rainbow colors,” Dylan explained.

“Oh. Actually, I have a tie I think you might like.” The tailor went looking and brought out a tie with rainbow stripes like a gay pride flag.

“That’s perfect!” Tanner enthused. “I have to have it!”

“OK, so you want this with a pink shirt. What about the rest?”

“Anything but black, really.”

“I think you’re right, lighter colors will go better with the things you have. Is light gray OK?”

“Sure. Oh and I get hot easy, so I don’t want a jacket.”

“Just a vest then?”

“Yeah.”

“What about you? He said classic. It’s traditional to try to match something to what your date is wearing.”

“Well, my date is wearing a pink shirt with a gray vest and a clickbait tie.”

“Right. So you might want to go with some lighter colors as well.”

Dylan settled on a brownish gray suit with a white shirt and a yellow tie.

“OK, we’ll have these ready for you by Friday.”

 

The next night they celebrated Tanner reaching 4 million subscribers. And two nights after that, Quentin headed back to Kansas, as he’d been planning to do after a month in California. No one felt like filming the day after that, and Tanner decided to end his experiment with daily videos after just 10 days. 

“I am never trying to be daily again!”

Dylan breathed a sigh of relief. 

Tanner was glad to see Dylan was handling Quentin’s departure well enough to edit his video about trying to hide Quentin’s things that day. It was pretty unusual for Dylan to edit that soon after filming. Tanner sent Logan to the shop to pick up his and Dylan’s clothes.

 

[April 28]

 

On Saturday morning they filmed a skit where Tanner played Jake Paul and treated his friends like servants. One scene called for Dylan and Logan to give Tanner a foot massage.

“I’m not touching your foot,” Logan warned.

“That’s OK, just fake it. Between the people focused on me and the ones focused on Dylan touching me, I don’t think anyone will notice where your hands are.”

The second part of the video was a kissing contest, where Logan as “Gertrude” was supposed to judge whether Tanner or Dylan was the better kisser. They each fake-kissed Logan, and Tanner was of course deemed the winner.

“Your fans are going to hate that we didn’t kiss each other,” Tanner told Dylan.

“I’m sure we can count on a comment or two about that. If only they knew our plans for tonight.”

“That’s right. There will be plenty of kissing for sure. And I’m looking forward to that — you’re a great kisser, no matter what Gertrude says.”

“It’s an honor and a privilege to lose to you.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“We have a rule about that, don’t we? Whoever wins gets fucked.”

“Oh that is a promise! One I expect you to deliver on after our date tonight.”

“Oh I will.”

“Good. We should probably start getting ready. I’ll be in the fucking shower.”

 

“You sure you’re OK it’s vegan?”

“Tanner. Relax. It’s fine.” _How many times is he going to ask that?_ “We’re going to be sharing a lot of meals together, and I want to get used to eating what you eat.”

“But I’m not even vegan. I just picked it because it was all-organic and they're supposed to have a lot of things that are gluten-free.”

“No one needs to have meat every day. I’m sure it will be good. I know you want everything to be perfect for me, but I promise, it is. I’m on my dream date with my dream man. That’s all that matters. I didn’t come here to complain about the menu.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Probably the only thing that could ruin this night for you is me worrying too much about it.”

“I’m going to have a great time no matter what. You should too. And if I have to help you relax, that’s OK too. It’s what I do.” Dylan massaged Tanner’s shoulders, and Tanner’s tension dissipated.

“You’re so good for me. You always know just what I need. Of course I’m going to have a great time with you.” Tanner relaxed in Dylan’s arms.

“That’s right. Since we’re eating vegan, though, I’m gonna need to get my daily quota of protein with dessert tonight.” Dylan slipped his hand into Tanner’s pants and cupped his freshly shaved balls. “That means multiple servings.” 

Tanner grinned. “That I can do.”

 

They arrived at the restaurant and were quickly taken to their table. Tanner started getting nervous again when he realized he didn’t understand the menu, but he looked over at Dylan, completely relaxed and confident in him, and realized he knew what to do. The server came by and introduced herself.

“Have you been here before?”

“No.”

“OK, well the menu is divided into three sections. We recommend you pick one item from each list. Let me know if you have any questions.”

“I’m sure everything is good, but I don’t know what half the words on the menu mean. We’re teenagers from Kansas and we’ve never been anywhere this sophisticated before. Can you just pick for us?”

“Sure!”

“I like that everything here is organic. I also need my food to be gluten-free, but he doesn’t.”

“Do you want everything to be gluten-free so you can share?” she asked Dylan.

“Yes please.”

“Great! What can I get you to drink?”

“Water for me and Dr Pepper for him.”

“OK, got it. So is your prom tonight?”

“It is, but it’s in Kansas, so we can’t go,” Tanner explained. “I’m trying to make it up to him. Also we’re not ‘out’ there — or actually here either, except for tonight, for that matter.”

That was not something she expected the boy wearing the gay pride tie to say. “Understand. How long have you two been together?”

“It’ll be five years in August.”

“Impressive. Any special occasion you’re celebrating?”

“He just got to 100,000 subscribers on YouTube.”

“Congratulations!”

“And he got to 4 million the next day,” Dylan said.

“Oh wow, congratulations to you too!”

“Thanks.”

“OK, well I’m going to pick out my two favorite things from each section and put in your order. Everything will be vegan, organic and gluten-free.”

After she left, Dylan spoke. “So five years, huh?”

“Like you said, Dylan, we did have those years. I may have been too dumb to see it, but for all practical purposes, we were together. That’s how I want to remember it.”

Dylan smiled. “That’s how I’ve always remembered it. I kissed you in the pool and all my dreams came true.”

“I’m still figuring out what my dreams are. All I know is they include you.”

When the first course came, neither Tanner nor Dylan knew what to make of what they were looking at. But when they tried it, they were amazed. Though both dishes were quite small and they wanted to scarf them down, they managed to save a bite for each other.

“I had no idea it was going to be this good,” Tanner mused.

“You picked a winner all right. I could be vegan if we got to eat like this every day.”

The server returned to clear their plates and hear their delighted review of her selections. When she brought out the next course, Tanner started to worry they wouldn’t get enough to eat. 

“It’s been amazing so far, but it everything going to be this small?”

“The next one is a little more, but not by much. You can have more than three things if you want.”

“I think that would be good idea. I wouldn’t mind having the first one again, or you can keep picking out new stuff.”

“Will do.”

They ended up having five courses and were continuously impressed with how good everything was. Tanner realized the date so far turned out a lot better than he expected.

“I thought this was going to be awkward – both of us being so far out of our element – but it’s really not. It’s kinda perfect actually. Even though I still have no idea what we ate.”

“I’m not any more used to a place like this than you are – probably a lot less actually – but of course it’s not awkward. Nothing ever is when we’re together.”

“You’re right! I would normally hate having to get dressed up, but somehow I don’t mind it when I’m with you. It’s too bad we didn’t bring the R8 here — our outfits would look great with it. But I didn’t want to drive, and I know you don’t either.”

Dylan agreed. The limo picked them up and took them on a scenic drive – long enough for Dylan to get into Tanner’s pants again – before heading home.

 

Dylan realized something was up as soon as they arrived, noticing the lights strung along the driveway. When they got to the house, he saw a banner hanging over the back door: “Ocean Mansion High School Prom 2018.” Dylan was beaming as he walked in and saw the living room had been transformed into a dance floor — which was actually pretty easy to do since they didn’t have hardly any furniture. The sound system in the corner and the refreshments table along the kitchen island were almost more than what was there before.

Mike was waiting with a camera to take pictures of Tanner and Dylan. “I’ll be your photographer tonight and also your DJ.”

“And I’m the chaperone,” Dom said.

“You got us a chaperone?”

“That’s to make sure I don’t try to skip straight to the after-party. Dom’s going to make sure I dance with you for as long as you want. I want to make this a special night for you. If he wasn’t here, how far into the first song do you think it would be before my clothes came off?”

Dylan laughed. “Good point. I can’t believe you did all this.”

“You mean Mike did all this. And Logan and Dom helped. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“It’s exactly what I wanted!”

Dylan went up to Mike and gave him a big hug. “Thanks!”

 _As if I didn’t already feel like shit for wanting your boyfriend_. “You’re welcome. We all want you and Tanner to be able to have your special night.” _If I do tell them, it won’t be tonight_.

Tanner and Dylan danced. It was easier for Tanner knowing only his closest friends could see him. Dylan thought Tanner was a much better dancer than he gave himself credit for. Logan joined them for a few songs, and Mike and Dom did a few times as well. Even Dylan Hawk stopped by on a short break from playing Fortnite in his room.

True to form, Tanner couldn’t stay in his formalwear for long — at least not all of it. His shoes and socks came off first, and Dylan’s as well to make sure he didn’t step on Tanner’s feet. After they got hot from dancing for a while, Dylan took off his jacket and Tanner his vest. Tanner loosened his tie a lot but kept it on. He periodically unbuttoned another button on his shirt, and after an hour it was completely open. 

Dylan was impressed that Tanner was still dancing, though. Whatever Tanner needed to do to make himself more comfortable was fine, because Dylan was having the time of his life. Everything about their date had been magical. 

When “November Rain” ended, they heard Mike make an announcement over the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dominique Lewis.”

Dom was carrying a box as he approached the makeshift stage and took the microphone from Mike. “As principal of Ocean Mansion High School, I have the pleasure of announcing your prom king.”

Dylan’s eyes lit up. “I bet it’s going to be you!”

Tanner shrugged. “I guess I have at least a 50 percent chance.” He loved that Dylan was eating this up. He was proud of having come up with the plan to give him his prom. 

“And the winner is … Dylan Mitchell.”

Dylan threw his hands to his face as Mike captured his surprise. “I won? But I’ve only been going here for a month.”

“You did,” Tanner said, seeing an opportunity to extend the school joke. “As student body president, I counted the votes myself.”

Dylan walked across the room to receive his crown from Dom and posed for some more pictures, there and again with Tanner when he returned to the dance floor. When Mike got enough, he returned to his DJ corner.

“And now Dylan and his date Tanner will share a special dance,” Dom said, handing the mic back to Mike. Deciding a chaperone was no longer necessary, he left the room and went upstairs. Mike put a spotlight on Tanner and Dylan and projected shadows of a crowd of other students on the walls around them.

“Faithfully” by Journey began to play, and Tanner immediately knew it was the right choice. His instructions were to consult his mom about a super cheesy ’80s love song, and Mike nailed it. He wrapped his arms around Dylan and they danced. Tanner sang along, with slight modifications to the lyrics.

 _Highway run into the midnight sun_  
_Wheels go round and round, you’re on my mind_  
_Restless hearts sleep alone tonight_  
_Sending all my love along the wire_  
_They say that the road ain’t no place to start a family_  
_Right down the line it’s been you and me_  
_And lovin’ a YouTube man ain’t always what it’s supposed to be_

 _Oh oh you stand by me_  
_I’m forever yours_  
_Faithfully_

When the song ended, they kissed.

“Can this be our song?” Dylan asked.

“You bet. I love it.”

“So is that it? Is prom over?” Dylan took his crown off and set it on the table.

“Yeah, but our date isn’t. I still have one more surprise for you.” Tanner got down on one knee and pulled a ring box from his pocket. “Dylan Michael Mitchell, will you marry me? … In about three years when I’m ready?”

Dylan let out the most beautiful string of incomprehensible stuttering Tanner had ever heard. Tanner couldn’t understand how he used to make fun of Dylan for something he now found attractive. Neither of them noticed Mike’s jaw drop.

“Take your time babe. I don’t want to get married until I’m at least 20. Make that 21 if we want to do it around our anniversary. Take a breath and try again.”

“I’m changing my name. Dylan Mitchell Braungardt. I used to practice signing that when I was 12.”

“That sounds beautiful.”

“Wait is this —?”

“The one you picked out in Boston? I asked Shark to find out your size.”

“That was you!? How long have you been planning this?”

“I knew when we started talking about moving here that I was planning something. Back then I thought I was going to give you some sort of promise ring. But then I started thinking more about marriage a few weeks ago when we were in the car on the way to that meeting.”

“The meeting! You introduced me as your partner. That was the most grownup thing anyone ever called me.”

Tanner smiled. _Well it was either that or drop you off at the daycare and tell you to be a good boy for Daddy_. “So yeah, I started thinking about it that day, and then the next day when I saw you with Saxon, that was when I knew. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have kids with you — when we’re ready. I know I’m not even 18 yet and really young to make this decision – and that’s why we should wait a few years to make it official – but I know it’s you. You and me forever. You said I was the sun in your world that was always shining, and I want to keep lighting up your world forever.”

Dylan was beaming, but then looked at his ring and frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t wear it. I don’t want to have to lie about this. I won’t.”

“I know. I wouldn’t expect you to. And you’re right, you can’t wear it, at least not yet. But I want you to have it. I know the next few years are going to be hard for us – for you especially – having to hide our love until I’m ready to come out. And I don’t know how long any of this is going to last, or if there will be times when we have to live apart. But I want you to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

“And it’s me. Waiting for you. At a church in Kansas. In a pink tux. Which you’ll be taking off of me later that night. After we dance to Big Time Rush and Guns ’N Roses – and of course Journey – with all our family and friends. And Quentin will make a funny speech, and Kyle will make a serious speech. And we’ll start the rest of our lives together with no more secrets.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“So Kansas?”

“I wouldn’t mind getting married on a beach somewhere that I could get away with less clothing,” taking off what remained of his shirt. “But you have a big family, and I don’t want my first act as their in-law to be making them fly across the country to see us. So no matter where we’re living by then, I want to marry you in Kansas.”

Dylan smiled. “In a pink tux.”

“I already placed an order to get one custom made. Though hopefully I’ll be a bigger size by the time I’m 21.”

“You know you’re perfect just as you are now. And all of it sounds perfect. I’ll think about that – what you said – every time I look at this. And you’re right, the next few years are going to be hard. But I’ve wanted this since we were kids, and I had to wait years for our first kiss. And then three more years for you to admit you liked me. And another year after that for you to be my boyfriend. And almost five years for our first date. And I know whatever happens between now and then, I can handle it. Because I have you. You’re all I’ve ever needed. I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too, Dylan. And you’re all I need. There aren’t going to be any more girls for me, or any other guys. And if it won’t hurt too much to take it off tomorrow, you can wear your ring tonight. As long as I have this tie on, I’m officially on break from the closet. Tonight is our chance to break all the rules that normally hold us back.”

Dylan thought about it and slid the ring on.

Tanner smiled. “So how was our first date?”

“Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Do you always get engaged on a first date?”

Tanner laughed. “Not always. But I do when it’s right.”

“It’s definitely right.”

“Shall we go upstairs?” Tanner held out his hand, and Dylan took it.

When they got to their room, they found the bed covered in rose petals and some candles burning, for which they both offered silent thanks to Mike, who was downstairs preparing to curl up with the shirt Tanner left on the floor.

“I believe I sang something tonight about wanting to lay you down in a bed of roses.”

“Yes you did. Looks like you’re going to get the chance.”

“Well first let’s get you out of those clothes.” It didn’t take Tanner long to get his own pants off, and he was wearing just his rainbow tie when he began to undress Dylan, leaving him with nothing but his engagement ring.

Tanner picked up Dylan and hoisted him onto the bed. “I know we have an agreement, and that’s still on the agenda, but I have other plans first. I know you want this.” Tanner was of course hard already. 

“Always.” Dylan eyed Tanner hungrily and spread his legs.

“Besides, you won prom king.”

Dylan snickered. “I knew my ass was going to pay for that crown!”

Tanner laughed. “You’re damn right about that.”

They spent the night doing all of their favorite things.

When their promises had been fulfilled – after Dylan had five helpings of dessert and Tanner three – and they were too tired for any more,

they fell asleep in each other’s arms, more in love than ever and ready to face the world together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story. A combination of two social media posts from Tanner inspired it: the tweet at the beginning and a snap in chapter 3. I've been working on it since April. Updates will be weekly at least through chapter 7. Chapters 1-7 take place on a single day in April, with flashbacks from the past five years.  
> Follow the17thstan on Tumblr for photo sets illustrating each chapter from Tanner and Dylan's videos and social media.


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